Here, at Off The Press, we always strive to bring quality entertainment through our satire articles with a combination of lighthearted yet random humor and silly storytelling.
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Off the Press is Stevens' premier news source for literally everything. With over 35,000 articles, 12 Pulitzer Prizes. and 26 Kids' Choice Awards under our belt, we are more than capable of reporting on any story with grace, style, and good looks. You can rest assured that everything we report on is 100% the absolute truth, and cannot be refuted by any being alive today. Stop by our offices any time in the Secret Basement of Howe, and tell the ominous-looking door the secret code word "News" to get a free tote bag!
Many people are not content with their lives because they want to have new ways to have fun. As the idea of fun becomes normal in American society, it becomes repetitive and boring to the point that what was originally seen as fun just becomes normal, dull, and boring.
Over the course of many years, ever since its founding in 1870, Stevens has been the place where many famous people came to study and learn about technology, like Frederick Winslow Taylor, Henry Gantt, Mark Crispin, Frederick Reines (wow, two Fredericks!),
Due to the growing economy, Stevens is planning on thinking of new ways to raise money to ensure that students are meeting all of their needs.
This column, Off The Press, is known for being very wacky and providing all kinds of humorous news pieces. However, for this issue, we decided to go back to a simpler time when jokes required a basic setup and punchline, looking at the way that manipulating words for humorous effect caused us to try to look at the world in a unique way.
Today was such a wonderful day. The sun was out, shining the brightest it could ever have been. People everywhere were laughing, smiling, and all out having a good time because it was such warm weather, a direct contrast to the days and even months of relentless cold weather.
Today, at Off The Press, we decided to honor our proud American heritage by retelling a famous tale from long ago.
As the cold wind blows like the most recent test you took, goosebumps rise like the cost of the standard of living and teeth are chattering like monkeys.
One of the greatest parts about Hoboken is the variety of food options that are available. From mushroom flatbreads and baked zitis to chimichangas and nachos to palak paneer and vegetable vindaloo to ramen and sushi and impossible burgers and waffle fries… Do we need to go on?
In a surprising turn of events, the United States government has recently enacted new legislation to ban some of the most popular holidays that people like to celebrate: New Year’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Fourth of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.