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The Most Wackiest Darn News You Ever Have Read!

Today was such a wonderful day. The sun was out, shining the brightest it could ever have been. People everywhere were laughing, smiling, and all out having a good time because it was such warm weather, a direct contrast to the days and even months of relentless cold weather. In fact, all the flowers all around everyone started blooming with delight, stretching out their petals and smelling so wonderfully. The gardener was also providing them with water while wearing a bright smile on their face as he sprinkled all of the flowers with his hose. How else could this good day possibly get better?

I know! The Hudson River! That river is so filled with such wonderful things to talk about! Since the river isn’t frozen and it isn’t as cold as it used to be, more people have been riding out on the water, having a good time. You could see people riding on cruise ships and tour boats, getting great views of New York City. In addition, people have been seeing such wonderful creatures alongside the water. There have been many fish that are swimming in the water, as well as very cute and adorable crabs. You could also see geese, ducks, and seagulls flying around and looking very adorable.

The wildlife around Hoboken is also very, very cute. You don’t have to go down by the riverside to see the cute critters, sometimes they can be right there in your own backyard! For example, you could see squirrels coming out of their trees after a long, restless hibernation and exploring their new spring surroundings. They are so busy scurrying around and gathering nuts, seeds, and other woodland delights to forage for the next winter. You could also see bunny rabbits frolicking about, nibbling on very sweet grass, and hopping about. You could also see a variety of other critters around Hoboken. Badgers, skunks, foxes, coyotes, raccoons, pigeons, snakes, etc.

But why stop at the beauty of nature? There is also beauty in the city life of Hoboken! Here, you can see multiple stores having the time of their life, selling cards, merchandise, books, furniture, toiletries, and other wonderful things. The restaurants are also selling out new things people want to try, like burgers, fries, pizza, pasta, mozzarella sticks, tacos, burritos, quesadillas, Chinese food, Indian food, and other wonderful things. You could see many people flocking to these wonderful places with big smiles on their faces, ready to make all kinds of wonderful memories with their friends surrounding them. Alongside all of those things, you can hear the music playing left and right, putting a nice beat in everyone’s head as it motivates them to explore all kinds of wonderful, new places.

And now, we come to a very key part in finalizing our wonderful day: important life lessons to make sure the rest of the days you live are just as great as this day! Lesson One: Even when things get bad, always try to keep a positive attitude. While it is okay to feel sad, delving too much into sadness is not healthy, and a positive attitude can help motivate us to move forward. Lesson Two: Smile to everyone you meet. A friendly smile might help change a person’s cynical outlook and can sometimes make that person’s day. Lesson Three: This is the most important one. Are you ready? Okay! Here we go! Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun  dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Fooled you! There is no lesson three!

Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire.