Editor’s note: This is documentation purporting to contain notes from a so-called “Scrum,” that arcane and masochistic ritual particular to certain breeds of software engineer.
Posts published in “The Stupe”
In a shocking turn of events, Apple’s newest iOS update has switched the bubble message colors. Previously, when one iPhone user texted another iPhone user, the message bubble colors were blue.
What are the best spots on campus to hang out?
Claire: Great question! There are so many great places to hang out around campus.
As the commencement ceremony date quickly approaches 2024, the administration has released a concerning announcement for this upcoming spring: commencement will take place over Zoom this year following many issues in the past years and while letting graduating students reminiscent of their high school graduation over Zoom in the height of the pandemic.
I am ever so proud to be a Snevets student, as our very lively atmosphere, social scene, and school spirit are always bolstering my pride!

Following the success of The Female Orgasm, an “independent organizer” at Snevets announced they will be holding Snevet’s very first Male Orgasm event.
The recent petition to restore the old floating dorm to the Hudson may have ended in failure, but loath to disappoint, President Narfarvar announced something even more unique: A Boeing 737 will be turned into new first-year housing.
My last April Fools for senior year never felt so heavy. I am still shocked at whoever jumped the unskippable cutscenes of college.
I would like to dedicate this article to all of my fellow Ducks who, to this day, do not know the North Tower is really Harries Tower.
I have uncovered an alleged secret society of Snevets students that live in the academic buildings at night. Upon preliminary investigation, I found they have three distinct sectors.