What are the best spots on campus to hang out?
Claire: Great question! There are so many great places to hang out around campus. If you’re looking for a place to refresh, check out the showers in the basement of Gateway South. There are no signs saying that you can’t shower there, so go nuts! You could also hang out in the business student lounge on the fourth floor of Babbio. Not a business major? Don’t worry, they don’t check! Don’t have any work to do? Neither do the business students! One place I do not recommend hanging out in, though, is the basement of Humps.
Ethan: There are so many great spots to hang out, but so many people like to flock to popular locations. So what you need to do is find a super secluded spot on campus to find yourself or get work done or whatever you do in your spare time. I recommend hard-to-find corners in basements, the multiple garages on campus, or places like that.
Do you have fun writing for The St*te?
Claire: I love writing for The St*te. One of the best parts is our wonderful leadership. Being on the E-board has been so fun, it’s like being a part of a big family. All of that is thanks to our incredible Editor-in-Chief Isy Ziv! Isy is so smart and funny and cool.
Ethan: It’s alright. At this point, I feel like a zombie marching onward with no rhyme or reason to the sweet release of graduation.
Why do I keep hearing scratching through the walls of my dorm?
Claire: Well, if you live in Jonas Brothers Hall, it’s probably the roaches. If you live in “the towers,” it’s probably the janky wiring. If you live in Palm Tree… well, that one’s self-explanatory. If you live in Humps, it’s best not to ask.
Ethan: You know what they say… boys are gonna be boys.
What’s going on with the Humps basement?
Claire: Ignore it. The less you know, the better.
Ethan: It is a deep, complex, and intricate endeavor being revealed by passionate and hard working investigators. All will be uncovered in due time, it is best to sit back and patiently wait for more information. All I can say for now is STAY AWAY FROM THE HUMPS BASEMENT!
Where does Editor-in-Chief Isy Ziv keep her enemies?
Claire: Haha, why would Isy have any enemies? She’s the smartest and funniest girl on the planet! She would never keep people locked up in the basement of Humps; she’s too pretty and cool to do that (please, Isy I can’t go back).
Ethan: I know nothing about this, but I could tell you where I would hypothetically keep my enemies given the opportunity. If I was looking for a good place, I would reference my ideal hang out spots for inspiration. Random basements, garages, or any hard-to-get places would make for good potential spots to take your enemies.
Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire.
