Dismay has struck the hearts of everyone across campus as it has come to light that Stevens Institute of Technology is, in fact, not a real school.
Posts published by “Off Center”
Off the Press is Stevens' premier news source for literally everything. With over 35,000 articles, 12 Pulitzer Prizes. and 26 Kids' Choice Awards under our belt, we are more than capable of reporting on any story with grace, style, and good looks. You can rest assured that everything we report on is 100% the absolute truth, and cannot be refuted by any being alive today. Stop by our offices any time in the Secret Basement of Howe, and tell the ominous-looking door the secret code word "News" to get a free tote bag!
If there’s one thing we Ducks pride ourselves on here at Stevens, it’s innovation. To help students show off their creativity and ingenuity, and also celebrate the school’s 150th anniversary, the Schaefer School of Engineering has put together the Duck and Cover: Make Your Fellow Students Duck and Cover Competition.
In a remarkable turn of events, made all the more so by the fact that there were no events to turn nor be remarked upon, absolutely nothing of consequence occurred since our last article.
We at Off the Press pride ourselves on being up-to-date on all of the goings-on here at Stevens, which is why we are all so disappointed that no one told us about this major news story.