Press "Enter" to skip to content

Q: What do I do if I’m third wheeling?

Claire: 

Now that cuffing season has started, it’s likely that you might start noticing more and more of your friends coupling up. This isn’t an uncommon thing to happen, especially now that everyone is back to school and mingling with new people. It can be awkward when you suddenly find yourself hanging out with a group of couples or you notice that your close friends are always with their partners.

You know it’s a good thing that your friend is happy, but it’s not cool for them to completely ditch you for their new relationship. If you’re feeling ignored, it’s a good idea to have an honest conversation about it. I would bet that your friend doesn’t even realize you’re feeling left out. A lot of times, people are so focused on their new relationships that they forget to keep up with their old ones. Don’t feel guilty asking for more time with a friend. All relationships are about balance, even friendships. 

That being said, if you’re realizing that your closest friends are disappearing into relationships, it might be time to branch out. You could take this opportunity to meet new, interesting people around campus and create new habits for yourself. If you suddenly find yourself with a lot of alone time at night, you could join a new club and start going to meetings or explore the new UCC fitness space. If you find yourself with a lot of time in between classes, you could try starting study groups in the library with your classmates. Who knows, maybe while meeting new people on campus you might end up in a relationship yourself. 

Ethan:

As it begins to get colder, you will notice your friends getting into new relationships and you’ll find yourself constantly being introduced to new significant others of the people you have spent the last few months hanging out with. When this happens, your friend group will expand and you will be introduced to a fun concept called third wheeling. Here’s the deal: Your friend still wants to hang out with you, but they also want to hang out with their significant other, so the genius idea is that they will do everything with both of you, turning you into the third wheel of their relationship bicycle. Now for most people, this seems less than ideal, which is why I assume you came to us for advice, so I am here to help you out with navigating being the third wheel for your obnoxious friends. You can deal with this problem in one of two ways: the first way is to get a significant other of your own. This will allow you to go on double dates and, rather than being miserable by yourself, you can take that special someone along with you to be annoyed by your friends together. This may be hard because I assume that you’re socially awkward and incapable of talking to the people you are attracted to. You’re probably saying to yourself, “That’s harsh, why would you think that of me?” and I answer with “You’re reading the advice column of the school newspaper, go talk to a human.” So assuming option one falls through, your other option is to suck it up and resent your “friends” until you have an outburst, leading to your friends distancing themselves, and then you can start from square one and make a whole new group of friends. Good Luck!

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply