Due to the 70:30 male to female ratio at Snevets, The Stupe was unable to find a girl to write the Girl Talk column for this edition. After hours of deliberation, the higher-ups decided that I am the most effeminate man at Snevets, hence I will be taking over Girl Talk this week. I don’t quite know what they mean by effeminate, but I am excited to use this opportunity to talk about some of the biggest problems I think girls face here at Snevets from my perspective as a man. Someone once told me I should be able to relate to the struggles of a woman, and to this day, I still don’t know what that means. People have also pointed out my poor critical analysis skills in the past, but I’m not going to let that stop me from speaking truth to what I have seen.
In my opinion, the first and most shocking issue women here at Snevets face is that some of our current older male staff have yet to realize that Snevets began admitting women as students in 1971. Hearing things in class like “Why am I arguing with a woman?” (Professor Dick Walker), has been a jarring experience for me. Being the feminist I am, I find this absolutely outrageous. You would think after 51 years they would get the memo, right?
Another issue that women at Snevets experience is the sync-up. I’ve witnessed this myself, seeing the few women on campus huddled together. On second thought, I guess they could’ve been avoiding the hordes of tech-school boys that overwhelm our campus. But based on personal experience that I would rather not get into, it’s never a good sign when girls are gathered in a group like this. I heard from a friend, who heard from a friend, who heard from his girlfriend that girls “sync-up.” I don’t know what that means, but it cannot be good. In order to combat this, I have been doing preventative research for this cause, and have found that women become increasingly dangerous as more and more of them sync-up. With this information, I think a possible solution is to separate women at their most threatening times of the month to protect the frail and helpless gamer boys from whatever this “sync-up” may be.
With the Snevets campus originally being built for an all male population, some of the building designs lack the inclusion of restrooms for women. As a way to “mend” their incompetence regarding the bathroom situation in buildings, Snevets decided to add gender-neutral bathrooms. So rather than giving women their own place to use the restroom (like men already have), they have no choice but to share a secondary gender-inclusive bathroom. The school hoped to be praised for its inclusivity with the installment of their new gender-neutral restrooms. However, in this process, they somehow forgot that women might want their own space and are now basically forcing them to experience the horrors of a men’s restroom first hand. After speaking to some women on campus about the issue, they have shared the hardships of using a gender-neutral bathroom. Some women have come forward with their horror stories of toilet seats left up, walls covered in urine, and wads of wet toilet paper on the ceiling, all of which can be found in a middle school boys’ bathroom.
The final issue I want to talk about that women face on Snevets campus is controlling their hair. With the strong winds blowing off the Hudson River and Snevets insisting on having an engineered wind tunnel every 500 feet on campus, women need a way to prevent their hair from constantly blowing in their faces. As a solution, most women on campus wear black hair ties around their wrists to have the option to tie up their hair. In order to understand what women put themselves through every day, I wore one of these hair ties on my wrist for a week before taking over the Girl Talk column. However, after leaving the hair tie on for an extended period of time, circulation was cut off in my left hand, and consequently, I had to have the hair tie surgically removed. As a result of my experience studying for the Girl Talk column, I think I finally understand what those people meant when they said I could relate to the struggles of a woman. I hope I was able to shed light on some of the issues women face at Snevets, and hopefully, people will come up with ideas to help solve these issues.
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