Mental health has become an increasingly difficult subject to navigate in the public sphere. Every movement advocating for the de-stigmatization of mental health issues ostensibly invites a pushback that claims millennials and Generation Z are overly sensitive and mental health does not warrant a concerted effort to maintain. The problem with the resulting polarization doesn’t arise from the number of people disagreeing with mental health efforts (counseling has become undeniably more normalized in the past few years), it arises from the nature of social polarization to silence those without strong opinions on the matter.
When the conversation about mental health is halted before it has even been given a chance to be properly discussed, mental health becomes an issue individuals have to work out for themselves. Without the right information, it’s easy to be uncertain about where to draw the line between “I need to talk to someone” and “I think I’m okay for now.” Other factors also impact this internal debate, such as prior experience dealing with mental health issues, personal characteristics, and family, but it’s important to remember that talking to a professional should always be considered with an open mind.
In truth, my own experiences dissuade me from reaching out to professionals even when I am feeling particularly low. The tendency of immigrant parents to distrust the process of seeking specialized attention for mental health issues has been well documented and can be accurately applied to my own family. My mother, who had always been accustomed to keeping personal matters contained, felt a strong sense of “what can my child tell a stranger that she can’t tell me?” even during times it would have been appropriate for me to seek outside help.
Fortunately for me, my mother understands me well and decided to take an objective approach when talking to me about my problems, keeping in mind a child’s propensity to be led astray from reality without blaming me for it. For example, when I started to randomly obsess over what I had seen on TV, or repeatedly question the likelihood of some depressing incident happening to myself, she would try to put things in perspective for me without making me feel like I was crazy. Even when preparing to go to college the summer after senior year, my mom stressed the importance of being happy and how there were other ways I could become successful in life if I felt I couldn’t handle school.
Fortunately for my mother, I never suffered from full-fledged depression or anxiety that would have forced her to take what she would have considered extreme measures to help me. However, that also made me form an aversion to the idea of seeking outside help because doing so would make me feel as though I am assigning weight to a problem that I would not like to be exacerbated. I have only ever relied on an intimate connection for advice.
I would be lying to myself if I rejected any necessity for counseling. In high school I probably placed extra stress on myself for not being able to measure up academically to my twin sister—being compared to a sibling is a very common nuisance, but let me stress the hurtfulness of a math teacher telling you that you should be getting better grades considering your sister has the highest grades in the same eighth-period class. I also had a hard time transitioning to the college social scene because the demographic looked so unlike my hometown’s, and I didn’t know how to cope without having my sister around anymore—for all the strife I faced from comparison to her, she had always stood by me for 18 years.
Clearly I have at least a few experiences that one might consider reason to reach out to a professional even though none of these concerns cause me any prolonged feelings of sadness, anger, or unhappiness, and they probably don’t for most people either. The human experience mandates the development of an imperfect psyche through the accumulation of our infinite interactions, be it with other people or ourselves. That is to say, everyone comes with their own baggage. Such concerns don’t have to be the cause of a chronic mental health issue. However, it’s important to notice that just because they don’t have any crippling effects, it doesn’t mean they’re not worth talking about.
It’s normal to not have a stance on addressing mental health issues, especially given the current social climate and, more importantly, when it comes to addressing the fact that we might want to talk to a mental health professional ourselves. It’s hard to know what we’re feeling at any given time, especially in college when our senses are constantly being overloaded. Sometimes we may even find it hard to make time to evaluate our own stress levels; in that case, considering whether or not to seek professional help becomes a secondary problem. But it’s something worth considering no matter where we come from because there are people out there who want to help and might have the words you need to hear. Even if you don’t have an extenuating need to hear them, they might just help you go about your day.
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