We live in the age of “burns” and “roasting people.” Last week, I wrote an article about spilling the tea on campus. Many times, this type of gossip includes coming up with ways to take a jab at someone and insult them with the intent of making someone else laugh. I’ve noticed it happening more and more on campus, and I think it’s time to address it. In the moment, it may seem like good fun, but it’s affecting people more than some might think.
I’ve identified the diversity of our campus in some of my past columns. It’s great to have so many unique groups and communities that make up Stevens, but some people regard those differences better than others. Whether it’s making an offhanded comment about privilege, race, or wealth, it’s become common for “jokes” to be made about members of certain communities. Some of them are lighthearted and in good fun (for example, as a member of the Stevens Dramatic Society, I’m perfectly fine with people calling me a “drama queen” or the like), but some of these jokes go too far. It’s gotten to the point where people may not even realize the progression of these comments and how aggressive they’ve gotten. I’ve seen firsthand how people can be downright insulting and make others really uncomfortable. And although they may not show it outright, it affects people more than we may suspect.
Many times, the people who these jokes are geared toward don’t necessarily address them directly. At first, they may laugh to be a good sport and not to cause any trouble. But as the comments get more and more aggressive, they may not be smiling anymore. Everyone has a limit, and after a point, people can get really hurt by what’s being said. Especially if everyone around them is laughing at the remark, if they’re genuinely hurt by what’s being said, it can be like twisting the knife. It’s important to remember that even if someone laughs at first, it doesn’t mean that they’re laughing all the time at every joke. If we’re honest with ourselves, I don’t think we should make any of these jokes at all.
But if we’re in agreement that these jokes are wrong, then why do we laugh? And why do we still say them? It might be for the reaction of others or even to put someone else down to make ourselves feel better. That’s no excuse to treat some people the way we do. I’m not going to lie and say I’m perfect — I’ve said things that I regret. It’s going to take effort and a change in habit, but it’s time we stop putting other people down, especially our friends. Making someone feel uncomfortable or insulted is never a good price to pay for a laugh.
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