With the wonders of modern technology, Off The Press has finally achieved what journalists, scholars, and truth-lovers throughout history have only dreamed of: automatic articles.
The Stute
We here at Off The Press were shocked to learn of the rapid rise of a new comedy club on campus “On Point.”
This is a rush transcript. Copy may not be in its final form.
AMY GOODMAN: The president met with President Putin in his presidential residence.
After months and months of investigation, the officials have finally found enough evidence to conclude that it was the cybersecurity students who hacked Snevets before the Fall 2019 semester started.
Huh… that’s weird! How is it possible that I am sitting here, writing the infamous “Senioritis” column for The Stupe?! It feels like it was just two weeks ago that I was writing under “Mind of a Freshman.”
Well, it finally looks like the Freshman Plague (aka freshmanitis) that goes around each year finally got Snevets to close its doors.
Postmodernist Thomas Kuhn once said, “the answers you get depend upon the questions you ask.” In science, the questions we ask are predetermined by a method, empirically based observations, and lead to explanations based on predictions that must take into account context, confounding variables, and consistency of repetitive experimentation.
Enjoy the freshest memes around town, courtesy of Stupers!
Courtesy of Jordyn Ramelli, Sanjana Madhu, and Roshni Revankar.
Elections for the President and Vice President of Operations (VPO) of the Student Government Association (SGA) are underway. Due to restructuring efforts and the writing of a new constitution that failed to pass, the usual fall semester elections were postponed last year to this spring.
One of my fondest memories as a child was going to the General Motors Heritage Museum in Detroit, Michigan. One of my favorite cars from the visit was the 1939 Buick Phaeton.