On March 28, 2021, the Center of Disease of Control (CDC) announced a new, highly infectious strain of COVID-1870: SIT07030, which health officials have nicknamed the “Duck Strain.”
The Stute
On March 10, 2021, Snevets launched Workday Student as the new student information system. After years of using the archaic Student/Faculty Web Services app on the intra-site, the administration just could no longer handle creating the semester course schedule on white boards in the Registrar office and manually uploading it to the system.
We here at Off The Press are always trying to improve journalistic literacy among the unwashed masses, and so we are creating this writing template for anyone that wants to try their hand at writing their very own news article!
With the wonders of modern technology, Off The Press has finally achieved what journalists, scholars, and truth-lovers throughout history have only dreamed of: automatic articles.
We here at Off The Press were shocked to learn of the rapid rise of a new comedy club on campus “On Point.”
This is a rush transcript. Copy may not be in its final form.
AMY GOODMAN: The president met with President Putin in his presidential residence.
After months and months of investigation, the officials have finally found enough evidence to conclude that it was the cybersecurity students who hacked Snevets before the Fall 2019 semester started.
Huh… that’s weird! How is it possible that I am sitting here, writing the infamous “Senioritis” column for The Stupe?! It feels like it was just two weeks ago that I was writing under “Mind of a Freshman.”
Well, it finally looks like the Freshman Plague (aka freshmanitis) that goes around each year finally got Snevets to close its doors.
Postmodernist Thomas Kuhn once said, “the answers you get depend upon the questions you ask.” In science, the questions we ask are predetermined by a method, empirically based observations, and lead to explanations based on predictions that must take into account context, confounding variables, and consistency of repetitive experimentation.