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The Stute

Not touching grass leads to cancer

In 1987, Snevets’ founder famously gave a speech about the benefits of not touching grass, claiming that grass was a disgrace to everything they stood for.

Narfarvar new creative director at Balenciaga

Pierpaolo Piccioli is out, and Nariman Narfarvar is IN. In a shocking turn of events, after we all thought that the creative director musical chairs were over, Nariman Narfarvar is dropping Snevets and going to Balenciaga.

SAT: a review

Three parts. One goal. No forgiveness. The SAT comes every year without fail, forcing millions of students across the country into classrooms of endless desks filled with dread in the crack of dawn.

Larkspur

The Victorian Language of Flowers was used for decades to relay feelings that people had a hard time expressing or were too embarrassed to share.

My true calling

As most of you know, I am graduating in May. Yup, a senior writing the senioritis column… groundbreaking. But most of you knew that by reading this column every week, flipping between me and Anna as we yap about life and stuff. 

Midterm Mad Libs

Note: Jack slept through his deadline this week and was unreachable. Thus, Claire has gone through his drive and turned an old draft into a Mad Lib in place of a normal article.

His Campus: because 70% wasn’t quite enough

In a groundbreaking move that has left absolutely no one surprised, the university has officially announced the launch of His Stevens, a long-overdue counterpart to Her Stevens that aims to spotlight the deeply underrepresented voices of men everywhere, especially at a school where they make up roughly 70% of the population and 112% of the volume in every lecture hall.

The EIC you think you know

On Friday, April 3, a body was recovered from the Hudson River. FDNY maneuvered the extraction, and the Hoboken homicide unit began its investigation at the pier.