Note: Jack slept through his deadline this week and was unreachable. Thus, Claire has gone through his drive and turned an old draft into a Mad Lib in place of a normal article.
The Stute
In a groundbreaking move that has left absolutely no one surprised, the university has officially announced the launch of His Stevens, a long-overdue counterpart to Her Stevens that aims to spotlight the deeply underrepresented voices of men everywhere, especially at a school where they make up roughly 70% of the population and 112% of the volume in every lecture hall.
On Friday, April 3, a body was recovered from the Hudson River. FDNY maneuvered the extraction, and the Hoboken homicide unit began its investigation at the pier.
The Trial by Franz Kafka follows Josef K., a bank officer who is arrested out of nowhere in his hotel room and has to try to defend himself against charges that are unknown to him.
Who lives on a secret island on the Hudson? Khoda! As we said the super secret name out loud, one that’s totally not listed on DuckLink, the clamor in The Stupe GBM grew louder and louder.
Starting in Fall 2026, the Snevets School of Business (SSB) will incorporate a new course into its curriculum: “Learning Your ABCs.”
Cheese, one of the best dairy products there is, with a multitude of flavors and textures, is truly a sublime experience to taste them all.
In a surprising turn of events, Snevets Institute of Technology has elected against building the new Davis Tower through conventional construction methods and has instead decided to use a brand new state-of-the-art 3D printer to create the new Davis Tower.
The warning signs have been showing up for a while, but it has now been made official. Snevets has officially put a ban on fun.
Snevets mascot, Atilla the Duck, appears to be named in the recently released Epstein files, according to documents reviewed by The St*te last Tuesday.