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Posts published in “Off The Press”

Off The Press is a satirical Opinion column written and organized by Off Center, often used to joke about current Stevens issues and campus news. It is currently organized by Matthew Brantl.

Gateway to Hell

New dorms are slated to join the Howe Center in mournfully looming over the Hudson by Spring 2022, but there has been a hiccup.

Snevets to implement optional pass/fail grading for classes

In response to the overall kerfuffle that has been the BUDLITE-19 virus outbreak, as well as the cessation of physical classes, the school’s administration has decided to enact an optional pass/fail grading for students to opt into if they feel that their grades would otherwise suffer due to the outbreak.

Attilification

a meditation to make you closer to attilla the duck

imagine. you are attilla the hun. you die after many glorious decades.

Honesty Board cracks down on online cheating

As classes shift towards being online, the Honesty Board has struggled to keep up with the times and is scrambling to catch those who are cheating from the comfort of their own homes.

Online classes not enough

On March 8, a petition was created by students that called for the Snevets administration to take action in light of the BUDLITE-19 pandemic.

Political Cartoon

“such class, very thought, omg” —The Stute staff

2020 Graduation Postponed Until the End of Time

Due to BUDLITE-19, the May 2020 graduation has been postponed to the picosecond before the universe and time itself end.

In this picosecond, a whole lot will happen.

QUIZ: Which crane are you?

These two icons have become the most popular celebrities on campus since their introduction at the beginning of the semester. That’s right; we’re talking about those big, beautiful cranes that are being used to construct the much-anticipated “University Towers.”

Stevens cancels fun

In an act that many are referring to as “Footloose Part 2,” Stevens has canceled all fun on campus. In response to the rapidly growing coronavirus epidemic, all events with a predicted attendance above 50 people and any events expecting outside guests have been cancelled or are under review by the Stevens administration.