Wow, that was quick and to everyone’s surprise as to how it got here so fast despite it coming at the same time of year every year (with a 1 day margin of error for leap years), it’s October!
Posts published by “Off Center”
Off the Press is Stevens' premier news source for literally everything. With over 35,000 articles, 12 Pulitzer Prizes. and 26 Kids' Choice Awards under our belt, we are more than capable of reporting on any story with grace, style, and good looks. You can rest assured that everything we report on is 100% the absolute truth, and cannot be refuted by any being alive today. Stop by our offices any time in the Secret Basement of Howe, and tell the ominous-looking door the secret code word "News" to get a free tote bag!
After the splendid, perfect, and all-around awesome career fair which did not feature any issues at all whatsoever except for the teensy little moment when a bunch of students who waited for hours did not even get in due to building occupation restrictions (although we fully support abiding by fire codes), Stevens was back at it again last week with a Fall Fling dance that featured a truly remarkable string quartet and an alcohol room that ran out of the beautiful nectar of life in the middle of the event.
We here at Off the Press pride ourselves on our immaculate journalism, our commitment to reporting the truth no matter how improbable it may seem, and our rigorous drive to keep everyone informed of the goings-on around campus.
Building off the known success of therapy dogs and the general presence of four-legged friends on campus, Stevens has announced that all classrooms will now feature a class pet for students to interact with before, during, and after classes.
A crowd gathered this week around the absolutely immense sheet that has been covering some type of enormous building-sized structure for years in the middle of campus, as it was finally time for it to be revealed.
In classic Stevens fashion, the annual Innovation Expo is happening today as groups of seniors who have worked tirelessly on these projects for the last two semesters finally get to show them off.
A lot of eggs were mysteriously deposited all over campus last weekend by a large, white-haired creature with absolutely immense ears that just so happened to be pretty cute.
As part of a repaving process, the City of Hoboken began absolutely obliterating Hudson Street last week. It was truly a symphony of destruction, featuring machines like excavators, motor graders, and a Komatsu Superdozer D575A.
The blood drive at Walker Gym on Wednesday was a huge success with many students volunteering to have needles poked in them for several minutes to extract some of their oxygen-carrying donuts, alphabetic antigens, and buffy coats (that’s a real part of blood) for transfer to patients in need.
Ok, I need to be straight with you. As you can tell from the dramatic change of voice and direct nature of this article, I’m not the usual writer for Off the Press.