A local student announced that after last week’s weather, he was selling his Philco C-887 refrigerator and freezer and just keeping any perishable food out on the counter due to the temperature in his apartment.
Posts published by “Off Center”
Off the Press is Stevens' premier news source for literally everything. With over 35,000 articles, 12 Pulitzer Prizes. and 26 Kids' Choice Awards under our belt, we are more than capable of reporting on any story with grace, style, and good looks. You can rest assured that everything we report on is 100% the absolute truth, and cannot be refuted by any being alive today. Stop by our offices any time in the Secret Basement of Howe, and tell the ominous-looking door the secret code word "News" to get a free tote bag!
Hey everyone, not sure if this is the right place to ask, but my mom just told me to put a notice in the newspaper hoping someone would see it and volunteer.
The cries could be heard from near and far. All along the line, in the trenches, in the tunnels, and in the trees: students unable to maintain the delicate balance of work, academics, clubs, friends, sleep (optional), and whatever else it is kids get up to these days, falling before the march of the sands of time that wore down their resolve until they finally succumbed to the inexorable advance of the dunes of duty.
After hearing about how “corporations and people are basically the same,” and “corporations make a lot of money,” one entrepreneurship-minded business student saw an opportunity to get firsthand startup experience and has now become a corporation.
What makes the perfect project meeting? As finals and end of semester projects loom in the not-so-distant-but-not-near-enough-to-really-start-worrying-about future, Off the Press went on a fact finding mission around campus.
In our ongoing conquest to be the premier producer and distributor of all forms of media, Off the Press has decided to create our first full feature film, but we ran into some obstacles.
You’ve seen them, we love them, we’ve seen them, and you love them: the Squirrels of Stevens. But are they doing the best they could?
In what was later described by the professor as, “The most comprehensive collective failure of knowledge acquisition and retention by a group of organisms more evolved than the archaea Candidatus Huberarchaeum,” twenty-five students managed to absolutely obliterate a test last week to such an extent no one involved is still on track to graduate.
A giant portal to the underworld was opened by the Torch Bearers statue this week and nowhere near enough people are as freaked out about it as we are.
Off the Press took a road trip to Scranton, Pennsylvania last weekend because we are big fans of The Office, Lackawanna County, and all other things northeast Pennsylvania.