According to the local Hojoken news source, “Nohnoozesguhd News,” there have been recent reports about sightings of people with an actual freaking brain. Though it may seem silly, this is not something to laugh at and should be taken seriously. According to Hojoken local, Startrick Pat, as he went to drink some tea before going back to Do, he managed to bump into someone and have an intelligent conversation with him. Being given an experience to actually think seriously traumatized Startrick, and he had to be hit on the head with a hammer twenty million thousand times in order for it to get back to normal. The operation was expensive, costing exactly one cent.
Another Hojoken local, Eyedoan Tavanaim, was unfortunately not so lucky. When she was on her way to McDonalds to have an extremely healthy lunch, she met another intellect at the table she was sitting on, and they managed to have a lengthy conversation about the ultimate meaning of life. This experience completely changed the course of how Eyedoan lived – she started going to a local university and graduated with honors, now owning a multi-million dollar company. Her family is devastated by their loss.
The Center for Intelligence Control (CIC), explains that having a brain is bad because it forces you to think. It makes you realize the steps you need to take to improve your life and make discoveries that could potentially change the world for the better. It could cause you to realize the mistakes you made in your life and make you seek to avoid them in order to actually grow as a person. And this is a bad thing because […] because […] well, they do not have a reason because to come up with a reason requires thinking, which could further increase the growth of intelligent thinking.
Recent reports have stated that intellects have started increasing at alarming rates of once in every ten thousand years. Normal, everyday people are slowly becoming terrified at the possibility of becoming people that actually know what they’re doing. People are starting to unlock their doors and removing their home security systems to prevent intellects from coming into their houses. The growing amount of intellects have resulted in people creating sane conspiracy theories about what is actually happening, and everyone is acting in a completely calm and rational manner. The CIC, after doing minutes of research on Wikipedia, is providing some basic tips on how to protect yourself from the growing epidemic of intellects.
One of the important rules that the CIC recommends is to never ask questions. By preventing the spread of questions, you are preventing the spread of knowledge that could slowly improve your mind and succumb to the rising rates of intellectuals. In addition, never open a textbook and laze around in your room all day. The experts at the CIC have seen that routinely lazing in your room all day will help affect the euro dopamine levels in your brain and decrease the activity of the brain muscle. In addition, avoid going to any sort of learning facility, as increased exposure to textbooks and intelligent people would result in something extremely terrible. In the event you choose to choose to attend a learning facility, be sure to avoid the Stevens Institute of Technology as experts have found out it is indeed a place where you can learn a lot.
Though the rising growth of smart people may be startling, following these simple steps will ensure that you can live a life free of any sort of thinking. Together, we can stop the rising growth of intellects.
