Stevens administrators were shocked, following to a recent survey, to find that the only students who enjoy Greek life activities on campus were those directly involved in Greek life. A Student Life representative responded to the poll stating, “All of the other schools have Greek organizations. We figured that meant that people enjoyed them.” While this may come as a shock to Stevens, this comes as no shock to Off The Press. We’ve done some digging and have uncovered the real thoughts of real students.
Greek life, for those uninformed, is a collection of organizations on campus where like-minded individuals get together to hang out, study, promote themselves, and pay dues. Some Greek organizations occasionally engage in community service.
An anonymous sorority member told us, “I will not be answering any further questions. You clearly have an agenda.” We’re not quite sure why this anonymous source stopped answering our questions, but we do have two things on our agenda. One, bring justice to the student body, and two, pick up more Oreos from ShopRite. Everything else said by this individual pretty much went against the main message of this article, so it will not be included.
An ancient 5/5 senior was gracious to recount his experience with Greek life throughout his many years here at Stevens: “Yeah I never really liked it, but Crepe Night is pretty cool,” the old geezer remembered. “Especially since Crepe Guru got shut down.” We at Off the Press don’t really know who Crepe Guru is, but we sure are upset that sororities have stolen his business.
Even some members of these Greek organizations expressed their frustrations with their respective (fratern/soror)ity. Many have explained that there are mandatory events that members must go to to maintain their status. As far as I know, all of the other clubs on campus don’t have this requirement, and frankly, it seems a bit ridiculous. If I went through the recruiting process, put time and money into my fraternity, and got along well with the boys, I don’t think I should have to go to a mixer to stay a part of the crew.
An event organizer from one of Stevens’ clubs has expressed frustration with some of their practices. “I would love to book BC 123 at 9 p.m. for our weekly meetings, but Sigma Phi Kappa always has it booked for chapter meetings. Don’t they have an entire house? Why don’t they just have them there?” When a representative from ΣΦK was interviewed, he responded, “Well, our cat likes to sleep on the couch then, and we don’t like to disturb Mister Flumf. Look at how cute he is.” The representative then showed us a series of pictures of Mister Flumf sleeping on the couch, and he was, in fact, very cute.
One freshman expressed his confusion after joining one of Stevens’ service fraternities. “I thought this was a club to celebrate Greek culture. I was expecting gyros and baklava. Now I have to pick up litter on the side of the highway? This is not what I signed up for.” After further investigation, it appears the Stevens doesn’t have a general Greek club. (Anymore.) I guess it would be weird to have another organization with “Greek” in the name, but is Greek life really a celebration of Greek culture? Will Stevens fraternities ever have Baklava Night? One can only hope.
Now, I can already hear some Greek sympathizers saying, “Well if you don’t like them, no one is forcing you to join or go to their events.” Well I’m here to tell you that regardless of your choice to remain Greek free, they will find you. Imagine the horror: you’re just going about your day on campus, when suddenly a pack of well-dressed frat brothers surround you. If I were surrounded by a flock of men in suits, I would assume I was about to be abducted by some government agency, but this, I promise, is far worse. This is the invitation ritual. Much like a rabbit surrounded by numerous middle schoolers on the playground, freshmen often panic and succumb to peer pressure by accepting their invitation.
Overall, we here in the Off the Press writing room feel that the impact of Greek life on campus is clear. Everyone who I’ve decided to feature in this article had things to say that support my claim that people don’t like Greek life. Of course, if I learned anything in high school, it’s that you can’t have an opinion piece without at least addressing the other side. So, to Greek life’s credit, we can at least be grateful that all Greek organizations have self-reported zero occurrences of hazing in the past year.
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