At Stevens, we are excited to expand the possible curriculum we can offer to ensure that we get a diverse range of students that can possibly exceed all possible possibilities. Starting in 2025, we will be introducing new schools that will really make Stevens go above and beyond as a school of science and innovate new ways of learning.
The first school that we are happy to introduce is the School of Magic. As a school that was inspired by possibilities to improve the world through innovative ways, we recognize that it is important to try to expand into magic, using the natural elements of the world as well as spell books in order to use magic to solve all of the world’s problems, including world hunger, homelessness, long queues, and many more. As an added (and not subtracted) result, we decided to go further by using magic to change some of the rules of physics, which will definitely improve our departments related to physics and science by forcing them to think in innovative ways to solve problems with the addition of magic in the situations they will apply their knowledge to. Though we are aware of the possibility of misusing the power of magic, we are proud to announce that there is nothing to worry about because we have selected reliable professors (those people are people who make YouTube videos about wanting to conquer the world).
The second school we are happy to introduce is the School of Living in the Past. With the age of the internet revealing many problems such as cyberbullying, leaking sensitive information, easier spread of false information, and a shorter attention span as a result of being terminally online, we recognize that some people wish to go back to simpler times before the internet came to be. One option is learning about the 1950s when computers were as big as people, and the latest technologies included a black-and-white television, a radio you could tune, and washing machines. Another option is learning about the 1900s, where the lightbulb, the phonograph, and the motion picture camera, where cars didn’t go as fast as they do nowadays, and people used outhouses instead of bathrooms. Finally, we have the option of living in the age of cavemen, where people can only use stone and the elements of the world to live, completely removed from technology.
Finally, the last school we are happy to introduce is the School of Evil Geniuses That Want To Take Over The World. We recognize that there is an innate desire in some of our students to want to take over the world, and we feel that trying to ignore those desires is detrimental to the health of those students. But rather than trying to convince them to use their brilliant knowledge and expertise of science and machinery for things other than world domination, we believe it is best to introduce a school that is dedicated to trying to help achieve those desires in the best way possible. Here, we grade students based on the amount of maliciousness they are capable of exerting, as well as how many cities their evil inventions are capable of completely annihilating. We also prepare them for their quest for world domination by teaching them how to do a professional evil laugh, alongside other proper evil etiquettes such as mustache-twirling and hand twiddling.
We are proud to introduce new schools at Stevens to expand our curriculum and achieve many things. So, if we see evil robots taking over the world sometime in the future, you can thank Stevens for that!
