Once upon a time, on the brink of the freezing Hudson River, lived Atilla the Duck and his two alien friends, Spaghetti and Meatballs, who were planning on applying to Stevens in the near future in an interplanetary exchange student program. Spaghetti and Meatballs were watching Atilla the Duck engage in an ice skating competition with his archnemesis, Hailey Hawk, and exchanging witty insults and comebacks.
“Hey, Atilla, this is an ice-skating competition, not a showcase-you’re-an-idiot competition! Looking, I’m doing a figure 8!” says Hailey Hawk.
“Eight! That’s the score you got on the last math test!” laughed Attila the Duck. All of a sudden, they saw the breaking news on a New York City billboard. “Currently, Santa Claus won’t be coming for Christmas this year,” said the news reporter. “He left this note, reading: I’m so disappointed with how evil, selfish, and materialistic the world is becoming, so I decided to punish everybody by not coming and delivering presents.” Spaghetti and Meatballs looked at each other in terror.
“This is horrible! Now we will never get to experience the joys of Christmas! To unwrap presents, enjoy a big holiday feast, and enjoy a warm fire!” cried Spaghetti.
“But that’s what we did every day back on our home planet. It got so boring, we left and came back to Earth,” complained Meatballs.
“As much as I hate looking at that ugly face of yours, we need to work together in order to save Christmas,” said Hailey.
“I agree with you,” said Atilla. They decided to trek to the North Pole using Spaghetti and Meatballs old U.F.O. to travel. However, they discovered that it was infested with Pi-Rats, who decided to take over the ship.
“Argh!” said the Pi-Rat captain, Remile, “This is our ship now, so you landlubbers better scurry along now, oh we’ll make you walk the plank!”
“Not on our watch!” said Spaghetti and Meatballs. “Seriously, get off of our watch. We can’t see the time if you’re standing on it.” However, the Pi-Rats quickly tied up Spaghetti and Meatballs, leaving only Hailey and Atilla. “I’ve got a plan,” whispered Atilla in Hailey’s ear before dashing off.
“Seems like your little friend got away!” laughed Remile.
“Well, he can be a bit of a coward sometimes, but he’s actually protecting our Golden Cheese located in Burchard!” said Hailey. “Uh oh, I said too much!”
The Pi-Rats went over to Burchard and saw a giant golden light! “That must be the Golden Cheese!” They crept in and saw what looked like cheese on a desk. They all jumped and started gnawing at it, only to realize that the cheese was actually glue! With the Pi-Rats out of the way, everyone went away on the U.F.O.
“That was a really clever plan,” said Hailey.
“Thanks,” said Atilla.
When they finally got to the North Pole, they saw all kinds of people, like the Three Little Pigs, Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Hansel and Gretel, Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn, Elmer Elevator, Boris the Dragon, Peter Rabbit, Anansi the Spider, Robin Hood, Momotaro, Zorro, and Frankenstein.
“What are you doing here?” asked Atilla.
“We’re here to see Santa too!” everyone said. “It’s the main plot of our Christmas special!”
“Christmas special? But it’s my Christmas special!”
“No, it’s mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
Spaghetti and Meatballs started to sing. “In a canyon, in a cavern, excavating for a…”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
“Mine!”
All of a sudden, they heard giant footsteps behind them.
