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The nightmare before adulthood

He did the mash! The Monster Mash, he did the mash. It was a graveyard smash!  Ghosts on trees, spiderwebs and orange lights landscaping front porches of the neighborhood—it’s that time of the year, Halloween time. While it’s a warmer-than-usual October (thanks climate change), all I want is pumpkin spiced everything, flannels, and good hiking weather. It’s officially spooky season and this year spooky doesn’t just mean ghouls and skeletons.

Last year, we did not get to fully celebrate Halloween. No bar crawls or Halloweekend, and a sad sight of masked trick-or-treaters that truly embodied a dystopia. Even though life has not returned back to “normal,” if there even is such a thing as normal anymore, I’m excited to put on my best Cowgirl garb and go to a Halloween costume party and trick or treat—you’re never too old. Many of us are stressing over midterms, deadlines for projects, and job interviews but hopefully a bit of socializing and candy will lighten the mood. 

To me, the scariest thing this season is job hunting and interviewing. What’s more horrifying than a coding interview without a compiler and a software engineer from one of your top companies? Maybe, The Conjuring, but after your second or third time watching the mom attack her kid you have to laugh (sorry, not sorry if I spoiled it). No matter how many interviews I have, it’s just as scary as the first one, but maybe it’ll become less nerve-wracking with time. 

As I grew up, I always thought the age group above me had it figured out. As a high-schooler, I thought my college aged sister and her friends had their whole lives planned out. That was not the case – my sister did her undergrad in illustration/animation and is now going for a PhD in Audiology. Neither of us would have guessed when she was a freshman that she’d be an up and coming artist while pursuing the highest academic degree one can receive. With that said, I could not be more proud of her. As a college aged student, I thought my college-graduate friends were smooth sailing now that they’re in the workplace. I recently found out that I was wrong again. Many of them are still navigating corporate or start-up waters, where their professional interests lie, and what the heck their job is. If someone were to ask me what I want to be when I grow up at this very moment, my response will remain “I don’t know.” Sure, I know I want to be in the technical space, probably with a data analytics and software engineering flavor, but that is a very wide ranging answer. As a senior I feel the pressure of society weighing me down, trying to squeeze my future out of me. However, I am realizing that I don’t need to have an exact answer to the question, “What do you want to be?” 

While the future is unknown, the only way it will become less terrifying is if I put myself out there and try different things. If that means watching videos and doing pet projects in data science, so be it. If that also means making pumpkin muffins on the weekends to destress, that’s even better. The only way to know what you want, is to explore the things you haven’t tried or dig deeper on the things you enjoy.

For all you seniors out there, stay calm and get your Halloween candy fix. We’re almost at the end of this rainbow road of a college career, and we can’t let ourselves drive off into the abyss.

Senioritis is an Opinion column written by one or two Stevens student(s) in their last year of study to discuss life experiences during their final year at Stevens, and other related subject matter.

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