Where did my security blanket go?

Humans are social creatures, and at times, we all need a big, warm hug. As a result, a healthy amount of oxytocin is released in our brains, and we develop feelings of trust and connection. Hugs are my security blanket. Don’t ever take a hug from your parents, best friends, significant others, etc. for granted, as you never know when it could possibly be the last time you will be able to. There are times where all I wish for is to give a hug to a person I love who I can’t see anymore, like a relative who has passed, or a friend I have lost. 

The first week of classes flew by. I wasn’t nearly as busy as I thought I would be, so I took advantage of the extra time and socialized a bit. I made a handful of close friends who truly mean the world to me. From the moment we met, we just clicked. It also didn’t take me long to find those who I knew would be my best friends either—well, I didn’t have to actively search for them—they kind of just threw an empty water bottle at me and the rest is history. Life was a reverie. And in the garden of my imagination, I believed the honeymoon phase of this new life would last forever; a phase filled with happiness and excitement and magic. 

But eventually classes get harder, friends occasionally become irritable without their daily dose of caffeine, and we all sink into the rhythm of college. We gravitate towards those who we feel safe with and, on occasion, we find those who can read us like an open book, even if we thought our emotions were securely under lock and key. We find people who we can trust, who break through the walls we have built up over the course of our lives as easily (and sometimes just as clumsily) as a toddler knocking over building blocks. We value the time that we spend with those people, in our hearts believing that there could be nothing that could ever take them out of our lives. We want to hold on to them tightly, treading lightly as to not let anything stain or mar the relationship. But it is vitally important to keep in mind that there are different seasons of our lives—short, long, positive, negative—and there are always specific reasons for the experiences we have, just like how stars were made for falling. Some people will stay for a long time, fulfilling their purpose in our lives over the course of years. While others’ time may be brief, everyone has a specific raison d’être in another’s life.  

During the springtime, new life unapologetically bursts forth to restore what winter had taken away months before. A sublime display of art that satisfies the soul. But it must be acknowledged that without the darkness of winter, we could not appreciate the spring. There will be hard times—possibly times where you won’t be able to completely recognize those who you call friends—as if you are just going through the motions of life, and in a place that is haunted by the ghosts of what you used to be. And it is not what you wanted, and it may break your heart. But keep the door open—spring will come. It will come bearing gifts of contentment and light. 

There will never be a small group that can replace the families we left behind as we took our next step in life, but by expanding our horizon, the campus and all of its residents are able to become our new home. 

And, if there is one piece of advice that I can offer to you right now: hug them.

Mind of a Freshman is an Opinion column written by one or two first-year Stevens students to discuss life experiences during their time at Stevens, and other related subject matter.