As a rising freshman, I was prepared to receive questions regarding my major, school choice, and future career aspirations. My answers were fairly standard and consistent when asked about these topics. However, there was one question that did not result in an easy response: “Are you excited or nervous about college?” I was initially confronted with this question in the beginning of summer. At the time, it was too early to feel emotional about college. I simply responded by saying “It doesn’t feel real,” or “reality has not sunken in yet.” These answers satisfied the majority of inquirers and I could easily transition to a less personal topic. Usually I would resort to a dull remark about the delightfully clear sky. Of course, if the clouds were particularly dreary that day, I could pull out a bland comment regarding the disappointing weather. Any discussion had to be more pleasant than sharing my feelings.
Unfortunately, months passed and people began looking for a more extensive response to this question. It was always the first thing that adults asked at social gatherings. I guess it seems like an easy ice breaker. Little did they know, college was the topic I dreaded the most. One day I decided to make it a personal challenge to provide a different answer each time. When asked “Are you excited or nervous about college?” I instantly chose a random response. Some days this resulted in a drawn out story about my extreme worries pertaining to college life. Other times, I talked about the excitement of increased independence and opportunities. Was I lying by providing these arbitrary responses? Not entirely. My varied responses reflected the complex feelings that I could not seem to sort out.
In my experience, college alumni frequently reflect on the homesickness that plagues the freshman dorms during the first week, personal favorite meals eaten in the dining hall, and the making of lifelong friendships. It seems that the stressful and confusing weeks leading up to freshman year are forgotten in the blur that is the college experience. Although it initially feels frustrating to have these struggles pushed aside, it is also a source of hope. This lack of remembrance indicates that college only gets better from here and our future memories will be filled with (mostly) positive experiences.
So, how can I deal with the stress that I am currently experiencing and make the most of the limited summer that is left? I have tried a variety of relaxation techniques including knitting, long walks, and punching a pillow. Unfortunately, none of them are entirely effective.
I recently decided that the only remedy to the freshman jitters is to fully embrace the journey while also acknowledging the difficulties that inevitably will arise throughout the process. This cliche is fueling me as I try to find a real answer to the dreaded question about feelings and college. Soon I would like to confidently reply, “I am thrilled to be attending college soon!”
If you take away one thing from this column, let it be that preparing for college should never include punching a pillow in frustration.
Mind of a Freshman is an Opinion column written by one or two first-year Stevens students to discuss life experiences during their time at Stevens, and other related subject matter.
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