“World’s greatest inventions” as a Google search produces hundreds of millions of results in a split second. There are a dozen websites on the first page alone (because everyone knows you just don’t go to the second page of Google), all of which have their own list on what exactly the world’s greatest inventions are. Some say email, others the wheel, and a couple list tools, like nails. All of these lists have one thing in common: they’re wrong. Absolutely off-the-charts incorrect. Sure, the GPS is cool and so is WiFi, and I guess we could add the internal combustion engine to the list while we’re at it, but there’s so much more that deserves the spotlight. I’m here to introduce you to a more accurate and, well, humble list of humankind’s greatest inventions, as told by a college freshman.
#8: Ctrl C & Ctrl V
Life with copy and paste functions is simply better and easier than life without.
#7: Apple alarm ringtones
Okay, alright, before you exit this article because you think it’s blasphemous that a ringtone should make the list of greatest inventions, hear me out. Have you ever had an important event, such as a class or meeting you couldn’t miss? In this case, you probably did the practical approach, which is to set a couple of alarms and then doze off comfortably. Without fail, you were awakened when you needed to be by a very, very annoying and loud recurring noise that is borderline terrifying. Apple’s alarm has zero chill and is consequently fantastic at waking people up, which is precisely what makes it such a great tool.
#6: Instant coffee
This one’s pretty obvious; it’s an instant pick-me-up and the best addition to an all-nighter (caused by a lack of proper planning, which I’d know nothing about) or simply a great add-on to a wonderful breakfast (see #2).
#5: The wheel
I have to admit, the wheel is a great tool. I wouldn’t put it at the top of the list, but wheels do allow for a wide variety of awesome things to exist. Some examples include airplanes, bikes, cars, strollers, wheelbarrows, trains, semis, motorcycles, roller skates, skateboards, tractors, shopping carts, tricycles, wagons, carts, trailers, lawnmowers, rolling chairs, dollies, four wheelers, golf carts, buses, and, most importantly, scooters.
#4: Instant ramen
Is it unhealthy? Maybe. Is it relatively inexpensive? Definitely. Is it also frequently convenient? Absolutely. Instant ramen is by no means the healthiest meal you’ll ever have, but it is food (more or less) and can be depended on to support any weary soul through seemingly endless study sessions.
#3: 18-in-1 soap
A trend you may have noticed on this list is convenience, because in a world as hectic and stressful as college life it’s vital to make the most of your time and save as much money as possible. That’s where something as terrifyingly great as an 18-in-1 soap comes in because it fits the criteria of both categories. One soap, 18 uses, including acting as a laundry soap, pet shampoo, fruit and veggie rinse, plant spray, dish soap, and toothpaste. For the record, using it to clean your dishes might leave a unique essential oil aftertaste, and the toothpaste option should really only be pursued in the most desperate of situations. In general, this invention is the greatest jack of all trades, master of none you’ll meet.
#2: Panini press
A panini press is a worthy investment, and here’s why. First of all, they make your sandwiches look cooler and taste way better. And not only do they do that, but you can also even make your entire breakfast on a panini press. Assuming your panini press comes with a smooth-bottom plate, you can cook virtually anything including a complete meal of eggs, sausage, and toast all in a matter of minutes. Now that’s speedy!
#1: Futons
Futons are hands down the world’s greatest invention. On the one hand, you have a couch, on the other hand, you have a bed — what more could you ask for? They have really interesting and unique design concepts which means there’s an endless variety to choose from, making them a great practical buy, especially for places with smaller square footage.
This list of the world’s greatest inventions might seem unconventional because it is. Don’t get me wrong, I still hold the internal combustion engine in high regard, as well as GPS, but as a whole, these eight inventions are some of the most practical tools in regard to college life.
Mind of a Freshman is an Opinion column written by a current first-year Stevens student to discuss life experiences during their time at Stevens, and other related subject matter.
Be First to Comment