This past Tuesday, I attended the Women of Color luncheon for the very first time. It was such a lovely event that I kind of felt sad there were only a few students there. I had such a great experience meeting other women who work at Stevens with such varied paths in life. The ladies there identified as “few, but mighty,” which resonated with me a lot.
During my time at Stevens, I have been lucky to meet so many people with so many different backgrounds and life experiences. As a person of color, my life is fundamentally different than those of many others at Stevens, whether I like it or not. These days, I find myself reflecting over the various cultural differences between me and the people I interact with.
Both of my parents immigrated here from India in the ’90s, my dad a software developer, and my mom an office assistant. Degrees like hers don’t really transfer over in America, so she has worked in retail for over 15 years. I was born here, in America, and grew up in a primarily Caucasian neighborhood in New Jersey. I only had a few Indian friends, and am actually Catholic — thus why my name is “American.”
I love discussing my identity because it has a huge impact on my perspective in life. In general, I believe that people are shaped by their environment at least to some degree, and it’s on them whether to accept or to reject that. When removed from your element, or beginning to work in diverse teams, you become aware of differences in thought and life experiences that you wouldn’t have realized before.
Let me give some examples. The other day, I met a freshman who was talking about the most stereotypical freshman conversation topic — Taylor ham or pork roll? I said Taylor ham, which must have been the wrong answer since she reacted passionately and detailed her past experiences eating the New Jersey staple growing up.
I wasn’t willing to argue, because before coming to Stevens I had never heard of this meat, egg, and cheese sandwich. Apparently, I didn’t grow up in New Jersey. But this is something I’ve always known. My parents never went to get deli sandwiches on the weekends — we’d go out to get samosa chaats and bhelpuri. That is, if we went out at all.
Another conversation I had recently was about Thanksgiving. As long as I can remember, I have never celebrated Thanksgiving. The first time I had a “real” Thanksgiving dinner was last year, thanks to Theta Phi. I have nothing against the holiday, but from what I understand it’s about reuniting with your family, regardless of how far away they are. When you don’t have family, it’s just another Thursday. Back in elementary school, whenever teachers and classmates asked me what I ate, I always lied and said default Thanksgiving foods just because it was easier than explaining that I didn’t really celebrate it and then getting weird looks. Thanksgiving to me has always been early Black Friday, and I don’t think it will be celebrated until I have kids or something and my family gets bigger than four people that see each other all the time.
When you are “different,” and conscious of those differences, you’re able to look at the world with a broader lens. When other people are different, you empathize with them because you, too, have been the “different” one at some point. I would even say if you have never been in a situation where your experiences and opinions are “unpopular,” you’re actually at a loss. You’d probably be uncomfortable in situations interacting with people different from you, and might even unintentionally discriminate against people who are different than you.
While I could view being a woman and being a person of color a disadvantage in life that puts obstacles in my road to success, I try to view it as a positive which enables me to have a richer and wider understanding of life. I realized it actually lets me be more accepting of others and trusting of others’ decisions, that they were made with their best judgement at the time.
In the clubs that I lead and the employers I work for, the number one criteria I aim for is making sure the environment enables everyone to feel comfortable being their most authentic selves. If diversity is bringing people of different backgrounds to the table, inclusion is making sure that everyone can voice their ideas and be taken seriously at the table.
So when I confuse Dr. Pepper and root beer again, because I honestly still don’t know the difference, please tell me that it’s okay! What we all assume to be conventional wisdom might not actually be to someone else. If you lash out at someone, they might hesitate the next time they don’t know something. People shouldn’t have to conform and hide their differences or lack of experiences; instead, we should be having more conversations and empowering each other to be more vocal and authentic in sharing what we know and what we don’t.
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