Looking back at how naive I was my first semester at Stevens is almost laughable. I mean, I thought having known what I wanted to major in automatically made me secure, when in reality I was just as unsure and nervous as everybody else. And as I sat down to write this, I found it undeniably easy to rattle off a laundry list of advice I would tell my former freshman self. But to save you some time while you jump from one orientation event to the next, I’ve condensed it into a short list of what I feel is important to know.
First and foremost, something that may seem obvious if you’re dorming on campus is to lock your door. Literally. Even if you’re walking five feet across the hall to the bathroom, just do yourself a favor and lock your door. And while you’re at it, wash your hands extremely thoroughly in that bathroom. I was sinus-stuffed sick the fourth day of orientation because I somehow forgot that washing your hands when you come in from outside was a thing.
When it comes to keeping yourself physically healthy, a lot of people don’t see the connection between mental and physical health. Most of the time that I was physically sick, I was also insanely stressed out. While some struggle more than others with one or more diagnosed mental illnesses, stress affects all of us. Learning how your body copes with stress is the first step in handling it and keeping yourself mentally stable.
I also think peer pressure is relevant in every college setting. I remember thinking it was just something that goes on in high school, but oh, no, I was wrong. Starting college and feeling a sense of adulthood is enough pressure as it is, but add on hookup and drinking culture to that and you’re left with an anxious teenager being swayed in directions they’re not used to. I entered freshman year turning 18 only three weeks prior, still didn’t have my first kiss yet, and still a virgin. I was totally wrapped up in the idea that there was something wrong with the fact that I was 18 years old and hadn’t had my first kiss yet.
To save you from reading the details, I ended up caving into hookup culture and had my first kiss as well as my first time with guys I barely knew. Absolutely, do not recommend. Not only was I left feeling physically uncomfortable, to say the least, but I was intensely emotionally changed and stung by the experiences. I didn’t expect it to affect me so deeply, but it did.
The point that I am trying to make, is that as hard as it can be sometimes, listen to yourself. You know yourself best. Catch yourself from falling under the social pressures of college. You don’t have to collect stories of hookups to gossip about to look cool. And if hooking up with people is something you truly do want to engage in, do it, but know the consequences of how you might feel afterward. If you do engage in it already, don’t confuse sexual freedom and fighting stigma with making a performance out of it to others to gain self-acceptance. So in addition to locking your doors and washing your hands, make sure you’re checking up on yourself and making good decisions when you can. Enjoy the year and get involved; it’ll go by in a flash.
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