Picturing myself graduating from college in three years is really weird. It also makes me slightly nervous to think about what I’m going to do post-graduation, but in my heart I know I’ll be ready when the time comes. Throughout the years of going through high school, graduating, and starting college, I’ve learned to trust the process.
Flashback to freshman year of high school. Terrified at the sight of every senior, my 14-year-old mind couldn’t even comprehend graduating high school in four years. I knew my options and that I would most likely be going to college, but there was still a plethora of unknowns. I remember hearing the term “calculus” and feeling completely sick to my stomach thinking of the high-level math that I would have to deal with one day.
Sophomore year wasn’t as nerve-wracking because I think I was more concerned with making it through that specific year than worrying about the future. College talk was starting, but it wasn’t necessarily a thought that I had to spend a lot of time pondering. And junior year was similar because even though college was in the near future, I was more worried about that year. The classes were difficult, but for me, most of them were continuations of previous classes. Geometry turned into algebra, which then turned into pre-calculus. And pre-calculus prepared me for calculus, which didn’t sound as scary once I got to senior year. The thing that I once felt so anxious about turned out to be just another math class, nothing special or particularly different.
I remember a specific moment during senior year where I realized how I had been prepared for senior year. I was in creative writing class when a freshman girl asked me if senior year was hard. I thought about it for a second, and responded, “No, because by the time you get to senior year you’re prepared and ready.” I realized then that although the nerves I felt my freshman year about the future were valid, they were also foolish. I wasn’t jumping from geometry to calculus, but rather taking the steps in between that would ultimately make calculus not so scary-sounding. And in terms of post-graduation plans, I wouldn’t be completely lost; four years is a long time, and going from 14 years old to 18 years old is an even bigger element of time and personal growth.
As I look into the future at the day I will graduate from college, I can’t help but be reminded of that moment in creative writing class my senior year of high school. I saw myself in that freshman girl, looking up to a senior and wondering what it was like. I realized that everything would work out the way it was supposed to. Now that I am in the midst of my four-year college journey, I have to trust that I will be prepared for graduating even if it seems like the most nerve-wracking thing at the moment.
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