Honor Board to Implement Duels As Form of Punishment

The Stevens Honor Board, comprised of the most honorable people in the school, has decided to change the penalty for breaking the Honor Code to a duel with pistols at dawn. A sophomore member of the Honor Board thinks this will be a great way to stop repeat violators of the Honor Code, explaining, “I don’t think any student is going to bother cheating again if they lose one of these duels.”

However, this update to the Stevens Honor System was not passed through the Honor Board unanimously. It passed, 16 votes for and 4 against. One junior member who voted against the amendment thinks it is not a good idea to make students pistol duel because “it is not severe enough. If a student who cheated wins the duel, nothing happens to him.”

When asked why this change was taking place, the Chair Member responded with, “We’re all really big fans of Hamilton the musical.”

According to the new Honor Board Constitution, the student who submits the violation will be the other member in the duel, which allows accusing students of being held accountable for their claims. The document also mentions that the instructor for the class where the honor violation occurred can choose to give the student a zero for the assignment instead.

The students on campus seem to entirely disagree with the amendment. One senior Chemical Engineering student says, “this is going to make my senior design project so much more stressful.” Another student adds, “I really don’t want to die at this school.” Even some professors disagree, as the CAL department released a statement saying, “The Book of Mormon is a much better musical.”

Because of the new rules in the Honor System, the pledge will now have to change from the familiar “I pledge my honor that I have abided by the Stevens Honor System,” to “I pledge my life that I have abided by the Stevens Fight Club.”