Wooden steps to be replaced by a rock climbing wall

More construction news from the Stevens campus as the administration has recently announced their solution to the wooden steps near the Babbio Center. These stairs, which allow passage down to the street level, have long been criticized for their shallow steps, which made the walk up very strenuous. Caught up in the building fever that has gripped the campus recently, the administration has announced their replacement to the steps: a vertical rock-climbing wall.

The wall, nicknamed “Attila’s Revenge,”  is set to begin construction during the summer. Current blueprints show that the wall will have over 300 red and silver hand-holds for navigating the wall and a large mural of the school’s mascot looming over the street below. Bells will be attached to the top of the wall to support friendly competition and to act as alerts for campus police if anyone falls off the edge. The project is an attempt by the administration to show off that ol’ Stevens charm by creating an innovative alternative to the stairs.

The announcement of the wall has caused a commotion on campus. Supporters argue that the wall has completely solved the issue of shallow steps, while their opponents question whether the wall would abide by Hoboken building codes. After some concerns were raised about the safety of the wall, the administration reluctantly added a safety net to the bottom to catch any students who fell off. While the administration recognizes the necessity of this action, one official has gone on record saying, “It’s just not as fun without the fear of death.” Some naysayers have also expressed concern over the fact that the new wall won’t allow students to ride bicycles up to campus, which was the main reason the steps were so shallow in the first place. President Favardin responded to this criticism in a recent interview, saying, “Literally no one rides a bike up a set of stairs.”

It is currently unclear how much this proposed construction would cost the school, but you can bet that tuition will rise because of it. As this project becomes one of the many ongoing active construction sites on campus, officials have stated that the wall will likely be finished just in time for our grandchildren to use it.