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Off Center presents “Punch Fist Love” sketch show

On Friday, March 28 and Saturday, March 29, Off Center presented their First Centurion Show, written and performed by six members of Off Center and hosted by Matthew Nando Kelly. Titled “Punch Fist Love,” the show featured seven skits which were performed in just short of an hour.

The show’s “Ask the Expert” rounds prior to the skits gave audience members advice on matters such as how to stop watching shows and get work done – “Sometimes you need to relax; if you need to relax all the time, that’s okay,”  and how to beat the game 2048 – by not going to class as “classes are for casuals, anyway.”

In the first skit, professional players of Knockout (yes, the street game) slumped in their chairs as they were reprimanded by their manager for poor performances. What began as a scolding evolved into an inspirational talk as the manager reminded them of the bleaker lives they led before he found them. “Now you’re running up behind people and punching them,” he exclaimed. Life is like Knockout, he told them; “you only get one shot.”

“Actor Plane Crash”, the next skit was a two-man act. The men were news anchors who received breaking news of the crashing of a plane that contained famous actors. The teleprompter had stopped working, and the anchors, when presented with the images of these now deceased actors, could not remember their names. Instead, the anchors referred to the actors by which movies they played, but even they were not sure about those details, either.

In “Needs More 9/11,” a film producer to his team declared that all good films of 2013 had some “good ole 9/11.” Pacific Rim had 9/11 imagery, while Thor dealt with uneasy alliances, another 9/11 scenario. He went on to say that The Avengers was “alien 9/11” and the Titanic was “boat 9/11.” He won over his team and they only passed scripts that were reminiscent of 9/11.

The next skit illustrated a scene of one person warping the rules of a board game because the other player did not quite know all the rules.  The skit ended after the appearance of a salesman for a different board game “Mr. Game” who advertised his game to the players as well as the audience. He bribed the front audience members by giving them a dollar each.

Anyone who has watched any Mary Kate and Ashley mysteries might appreciate the following skit Off Centurions performed. Mary Kate and Ashley arrived at the scene of a murder looking to help a man find the culprit. The man watched in disbelief as they performed a baking soda and vinegar experiment and sang a song.

Mom and Dad play “good cop, bad cop” when confronting their son about his crime in another skit.  The son finally admits to committing Grand Theft Auto – taking the family’s car without his parent’s permission. To avoid serious punishment, the son reveals to his parents who his sister is dating.

The last skit, another about movies, was set in an ’80s movie remake park. The visitors were at first amazed by it all, but soon horrified to see how drastically they have changed things like making Footloose be about a bus race rather than a track race. “You’re playing God!” one of them cried. They all ran away from Jaden Smith of Karate Kid, until they were saved by RoboCop.

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