The Stute

In a victory almost nobody asked for, excepting the ever-outspoken student athlete population, cutting-edge nanoscale condoms have been distributed to vending machines across campus.

Snevets Counseling and Psychological Services has started exploring new techniques for counseling programs. CAPS has recently announced the introduction of “gaslighting therapy” into their program, releasing a statement on their website: “Sometimes a student in distress just needs to be told ‘No, I don’t think so.’”

The capstone project of a Quantitative Social Science major is a senior thesis that expands the knowledge of societal trends. As a rising senior, I recently submitted my thesis proposal, and I knew it had to be GOOD in order to beat the HASS hate from the rest of Snevets students.

Campus was in a state of crisis this week after it was announced that this year’s Innovation Expo was being called off.

Some of you may be wondering, what is the point of landscaping? And to that point, I also ask what is the point of landscaping?

For many parents, sending their little ducklings to Snevets can be stressful. With rumors of rodents making the best food Snevets has ever seen, some interesting topics of the first-year course, and a crazy amount of wind, here are some quick tips for all the parents of the Snevets community to get involved. 

Is finding a relationship on campus hard? Do you skip showers frequently? Are you afraid to speak to people of the opposite sex, same sex, or anyone at all?

In a recent report, approximately 1% of Snevets students are failing. However, the Snevets administration has deemed this unacceptable and an affront to everything the university stands for.

An event more devastating than a snack swipe’s worth being diminished from two cookies to one has been distressing students across campus.