I will start by admitting that as a pre-teen, and really up until two years ago, I never particularly cared about the lack of representation of my race in Hollywood. In fact, I hardly registered it, happily lapping up whatever mainstream media threw at me. (I’ll give you a hint: It was overwhelmingly white and male). I also spurned Bollywood, what would have been my only source of representation onscreen, in an attempt to conform to what everyone else was doing (watching white Hollywood), and tick my Indian relatives off with my cultural cluelessness.
But all that changed when I discovered Bollywood actress Sonam Kapoor in 2014. I’d accidentally stumbled on a trailer for her upcoming movie on Tumblr, and when I saw her for the first time, I remember that I was absolutely blown away.
She was beautiful, she was fashionable, but more than that, she was someone who looked like me. She was Indian, but she also truly looked Indian. She had ethnic features, she had golden brown skin, and she wore traditional Indian clothing — and that left a huge impact on me. Although my friends joked (and still joke to this day) that I had developed a maddening girl-crush on her (I might be a bit obsessed), the reality was that it was linked to something way deeper.
The truth was, she left such a huge impact on me because I had never seen someone like her on screen. She was an Indian actress who really looked Indian. She’d struggled with weight issues when she was younger, like me. She’d had to deal with the unique cultural struggles desi girls go through, like me. She had a whole history of her own that I could relate to on practically every level, and she filled in a hole in my subconscious that I hadn’t realized I had. I loved that she was a strong feminist, and that she made film roles for herself. I could see myself in her. I could relate to her. And I realized, so late, the gap that had widened within me. It led to me re-discovering and appreciating a side of myself I’d been forced to suppress for years: my Indian-ness.
My story of finding a cultural representative outside of Hollywood, in a way, reflects the sad reality of the industry today. The truth is, Sonam Kapoor still isn’t a Hollywood actress. And although I discovered her through my homeland’s film industry, I realize that not everyone has that luxury. Women of color often have practically no one to see of their ethnicity on screen, and little to no means whatsoever of filling that gap.
The numbers back it up, too. While women were cast as 22% of lead characters and 33% of all speaking parts in the 100 top grossing films of 2015, only 27% of the female roles played by black, Latina, or Asian actresses were considered major roles, according to research conducted by the Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film at San Diego State University. The study also reported a paltry representation of female characters of color overall: 13% of female characters were black and only 4% Latina and 3% Asian. And if you need further evidence of the lack of diversity, just look at this year’s Oscar lineup for Best Actress: every single actress nominated is a white female. The hashtag #OscarsSoWhite was more than a passing Twitter trend; it was a stark reflection of the reality of today.
So, why does this even matter? The little personal anecdote might not have articulated it as well as I would have liked, but the truth is that it is hard to express how alienating it is to never see a character on screen that looks like you. You are never be able to fully relate to the character, can never truly relate to their story. That doesn’t mean that race is the only way to relate to a character, but race, whether we’d like to admit it or not, definitely shapes our experiences and identity. There’s no conceivable way to fully identify with someone who does not reflect your reality. The absence of these characters, whether you ever realize it or not, creates a deep feeling within you that your experience does not exist and does not matter — that you don’t matter.
Progress is being made in Hollywood, slowly but steadily. Women like Lupita Nyong’o, Zoe Saldana, and Mindy Kaling, to name a few, have shattered barriers, playing women of color who go beyond the racial stereotypes and fetishizations of their race being held by the public. But, more aggressive work needs to be done if the screens of Hollywood are to reflect the reality of American diversity. For the sake of our viewers, and countless impressionable young girls looking for someone to relate to, I think it’s high time we get on that.
