When I write music, I think about myself as a poet first; every aspect of what I create is a revolving force around whatever feeling I am experiencing at the time. I use my ability to write lyrics and poetry as an outlet. I am learning to embrace the fact that my music often comes from a place of hurt. Whatever I feel at the time becomes a lyric or line for the songs I write. I see it as a way to turn bad things into something beautiful.
Being a songwriter is something I use as a way to become more in touch with my emotions. It’s a beautiful thing to be able to understand my feelings in a healthy way, especially when the emotions are negative. I feel like I have a more complex understanding of everything around me when I take the time to write about the little details that I overlook. Before songwriting, I have always had an interest in understanding why the little things in our lives have such a tremendous impact on us. Writing lyrics is an interesting way to play with that concept. I can take a moment to step back and be the fly-on-the-wall in my own life.
With that being said, writing and embracing emotions is sometimes hard. It is so easy to be your own biggest enemy when you look at your art. I know that I have a hard time with perfectionism. Sometimes, it’s easy to hate myself through my art. That’s why writing lyrics feels so powerful to me; it’s like a mirror. Lyrics and poetry really helped me step back and realize that I need to give myself more credit. I had a creative epiphany where I realized that writing was for myself, and I noticed how much it did for me. Sharing it with others came later.
In the artistic world, art often comes from places of hardship or struggle, and while it isn’t always the case, I heavily associate it with this. It’s tremendously impactful when songwriters open up through their lyrics; it gives a perspective to listeners that they aren’t alone in their experiences. That’s why I write: to be able to take the feelings that mess with me and share them with others who might think no one else gets it. I struggle with depression and anxiety to the point where sometimes I can’t leave my dorm. I’ll hide myself away in my cave and avoid texting anyone. It’s sometimes hard to get out of that loop, so l write to be productive during these times. This helps me learn how to pull myself out of it, and I’ve sort of learned how to love parts of myself that hurt. It’s the feeling of taking something ugly and brutal and turning it into something that feels better.
Every day is different. Sometimes things are bad, and sometimes they’re great. Take, when writing down words, thinking of a time or experience from a new perspective. Whether I am self-deprecating, sad, happy, or proving a point, my lyrics grow with me. They develop as I further understand myself and what’s around me. Use writing to turn the bad into something better and be proud of it. Embrace emotions. Enjoy being sad, proud, or full of angst. Don’t be afraid of feelings; let them come and use them.
