This year has been imperfect and chaotic, and the biggest changes of my eighteen-year-old life have happened within these twelve months. I’ll be recapping my silly little life this year.
It’s crazy to think that this year, I applied to college, changed my career choices, actually got into university, and am now done with my first semester. All that in one trip around the sun!
This year encompassed the transition from senior year of high school to freshman year of college. To be honest, I’ve felt pretty lost recently. When the highs are high, they come down even harder. I had the best year of high school but suddenly had to leave my best friends. I then came to college and made new friends.
Then, the “freshman friends” phenomenon happened to me. You never forget the first people you meet in college. Everyone is so eager to become besties. Close proximity via dorms, clubs, and peer leader groups brings most friend groups together. Then you realize that just someone was the first friend you made, doesn’t necessarily mean that they were the best friend for you. I’ve had the revelation that since the beginning of the semester, maybe I was hiding behind big groups to fill up my time so I didn’t have to deal with my own issues. Now that I don’t have a friend group to hide behind anymore, I’m forced to confront my coping mechanisms, academics, and the abhorrent state of my room.
I’ve been spending a lot more time in my room, not hiding but just assessing what I should do next. It’s suddenly very peaceful. I feel like I’m getting my life together by spending many of my days organizing or just hanging out with my roommate. I’m incredibly grateful for her during this time. We are almost complete opposites, but we balance each other out. During my worst days, her entire folder of saved meme videos has brightened my day. When I just need to rant, she’ll listen and give unbiased advice. If you’re reading this, I’m very sorry for being a biohazard and almost getting you sick twice.
Life has moved so fast since coming here. It’s difficult to write a positive reflection on the year when the headspace you’re in is not so positive. I am a human being, and it’s okay to fail, fall flat, and have to go to the ER for a broken nose, but as your nose heals, maybe it’ll give you a valid reason to get a nose job. Basically, better things are coming, you just might not know it yet. I need to remember where I came from and take time to remember who I am and what I want. Maybe things haven’t been so great, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be grateful for what I do have. Thank you to the people who have decided to stay in my life, you’ve pushed me along this year.
Thank you, The Stute, for letting me write this semester. I’m not the most polished writer, most of my articles are just a rant, but writing in this column brings me time to reflect, and think of life as not just only as myself, but how I can influence the few that read my column. Maybe I’m overstating my importance, but at least my mom reads these. Live, laugh, lobotomy, and see y’all next semester!
