Healthy relationships

With love in the air and Valentine’s Day coming up, many people will likely be celebrating their relationships. However, not all relationships may truly feel like they are worth celebrating. If you feel like this, you may want to consider whether or not your relationship is a healthy one. Healthy relationships take certain skills and practice to maintain while on the flip side, in unhealthy relationships, it can take time to recognize that they are not good for us. In either case, there are factors that help us identify whether a relationship is healthy or not. 

Certain patterns overlap in unhealthy relationships and many of them may not be clear at first. Examples of such red flags include:

Controlling each other:

In a relationship, it is normal to bring up something that you wish your partner would do differently. However, it isn’t acceptable to tell them what to do or to control their behavior. 

Your partner does not respect your boundaries:

If you set a boundary and your partner brushes it off, that is a serious red flag. This is because they are not respecting your needs. 

Feeling afraid to express or feeling unheard when you want to state a disagreement:

Not being able to communicate your needs and views to your partner is very problematic. Even more, if you feel afraid to speak up, that might be an indication that this relationship puts you under a lot of stress. Additionally, if you feel unheard every time you express an opinion, it shows that your partner is not willing to take into account your feelings which could be a sign that this relationship would not work in the long term. 

You don’t feel happy or comfortable around your partner:

Obviously, you are not expected to be happy around your partner all the time, but if your relationship has a negative impact on your mood, that likely means something needs to change. If there is dissatisfaction in your relationship, it might mean it is time to either discuss it or move on. 

Disagreements don’t go anywhere: 

In every relationship there are disagreements. The issue is if nothing is done or learned even after one takes place. This might be a sign that you are not compatible, which could indicate that the relationship doesn’t have much longevity. 

If you feel as though your relationship matches these red flags, it might be time to have a talk with your partner. If you are still unsure about whether or not your relationship is unhealthy, ask yourself these questions:

• Does my partner allow me to grow?
• Do we have the same goals for the future?
• Can I be myself around them?
• Is my life better with them in it?

On the other hand, if you believe that your relationship is worth investing in, there are some steps you and your partner can take to ensure that it is healthy. Some practices of a healthy relationship include:

Keeping expectations realistic:

Healthy relationships are all about accepting someone for who they are. It’s okay if sometimes you are disappointed in someone but a relationship won’t last if you have an all-or-nothing mentality when it comes to your relationship. 

Talk to each other and be open with each other:

Take the time to really be there for each other and genuinely listen. Also, be honest with each other and do not withhold anything important. 

Live a balanced life:

In a relationship, it can be very easy to make everything centered around the relationship. While it is important, spending time on yourself and building a life outside of the relationship is equally as important. 

Consider their perspective: 

During times of conflict, it may be very hard to accept or even understand your partner’s perspective but nevertheless, it is important because it will give you a better view of the situation. 

Just like preserving a healthy relationship takes time, it takes equal courage and time to leave an unhealthy one. If a relationship is no longer suitable for you, do not be afraid to leave, since a relationship is supposed to add value to your life, not take value from it.