Over recent weeks, many students on the Stevens campus may have noticed that the temperatures in the buildings on campus have become increasingly warm. From first-year dorms to Babbio Center halls, the conditions of the rooms face perilous temperatures as facilities claim that the climate control systems need to switch to heat and cannot switch back and forth between AC and heating. However, recent evidence has surfaced showing a plot far more nefarious. Supposedly, a secret organization of demons has taken control of facilities and is slowly turning up the campus temperatures to prepare students to be eaten in a gothic Halloween Eve ritual!
Although it is historic for ghosts, goblins, and ghouls alike to haunt Stevens’ campus during infamously dubbed ‘spooky season,’ this year, the increase in temperatures has led a student to investigate. The student, who asked to remain anonymous to not be found by the Demonic Public Relations division, says they descended into a mysterious section of campus to find out more: the Physical Plant in the Griffith Plant. This spooky section of campus is well-hidden, protected, and out of the way of any curious Stevens Ducks (the building, for reference, is down the Babbio Stairs on Sinatra Drive).
Once this student arrived at Griffith, they found an army of monsters running the boiler room on campus. The appearance of these demons, as the student describes, is that “they are all exact clones of Farvardin’s beloved dog, Martini.” The student contact acquired a memo regarding the demons’ appearance. Apparently, being so adorable, no one would ever suspect Martini of anything. The student was almost spotted but was able to escape through a secret tunnel under Howe that was part of Castle Stevens wine cellar.
It is unclear as to why the demons are attempting to use Stevens students as part of a feast, but we can only hope that Facilities will be able to regain control of the Physical Plant soon.
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