In my last column, I explained why I decided to try to kick my caffeine habit over the summer. In this column, I’ll describe the results of my experiment.
I began early last May by switching abruptly from six to seven cups of strong brewed coffee to two mugs of tea made from two teabags. After four days, I reduced my intake to a single mug of tea, then I had no caffeine at all for eight days.
Withdrawal began as soon as I switched from six to seven cups of coffee to two cups of tea. The tea produced a pitiful simulacrum of the java buzz. I didn’t get the headaches that many people report, but I felt depressed, lethargic, anxious, fuzzy-headed. Teaching and writing were tough.
Withdrawal intensified after I stopped drinking tea, too. I lacked the energy or concentration to get things done and even to decide what to do. Writing and reading were hard. When I flew to Rome with my girlfriend for a week-long vacation in late May, I started drinking coffee again. One obstacle to kicking the caffeine habit is that, if you abstain for just a little while, you get a fantastic buzz when you backslide. And Italian coffee is so good!
The turning point was my decision to go on a silent Buddhist meditation retreat. A week before the retreat, which lasted from July 14 to 21, I scaled back my daily caffeine intake to one to two cups of tea. I went cold turkey during the retreat.
I felt no withdrawal this time. Quite the contrary. I fell into a state of euphoric, relaxed attentiveness that I called “The Laziness.” Being caffeine-free, as well as disconnected from digital distractions, surely contributed to this state. For the first time in my life, meditation really worked.
I have now been caffeine-free (except for occasional dark-chocolate snacks) for more than three months, and I feel great. Less anxious, glum, moody, irritable, impatient. More calm and clear-headed. My sleep hasn’t improved as much as I’d hoped. I rarely sleep for seven hours straight. But during the day, even when I feel tired, I can summon the energy I need to get things done, like teaching, grading papers, and writing. I feel as though I have become a more attentive teacher, colleague, friend, and father.
Of course, I might be attributing to my altered chemistry what is actually an effect of greater self-scrutiny and wishful thinking. Moreover, since quitting caffeine, I have meditated pretty regularly, which is another important confounding factor. But I believe meditation works for me now because I’m caffeine-free.
My girlfriend, whom I asked if I have changed since I kicked caffeine, responded via email: Are you kidding?! Definite improvement!! You act more like an emotional, responsive human being and less like a squeaky Tin Man or an ADD kid. You used to be more like a bee buzzing around and I had to catch you and focus your attention. The change was especially noticeable when you came back from the retreat and it has worn off to some degree. For example, you were not as quick to medicate with TV for a while and I’d say you’ve stepped back into that. However, I think you’re still adjusting and I’m hoping things will balance out.
My girlfriend, who rarely consumes caffeine, had urged me to carry out my experiment, so she wanted it to succeed. But she is painfully blunt. If I were the same old jerk, she would have told me. At this point, I consider my caffeine experiment to be a success.
John Horgan directs the Center for Science Writings, which is part of the College of Arts & Letters. This column is adapted from one originally published on his Scientific American blog, “Cross-check.”
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