Hey there! I’m the Environmental Protection Agency, but you can call me EPA. I was born in December 1970, which makes me a Capricorn: practical, persistent, and fiercely protective (especially when it comes to the planet). You might know me from warning labels on your cleaning products, NYC smog alerts, or your middle school science lessons. Every time you go to the beach, take a deep breath on a clear day, or trust your tap water, I’ve been quietly working in the background to make that possible.
I was created during the Nixon administration, after years of intense public concern over pollution and environmental degradation. Rivers were catching fire, wildlife was disappearing, and people were getting sick. So I was created to do something about it. Not to brag, but I’ve helped ban lead in gasoline, cleaned up thousands of toxic waste sites, and even helped save the bald eagle. And of course, Earth Day is my favorite holiday!
I work alongside more than 18,000 dedicated employees to set national air and water quality standards, regulate toxic chemicals, and step in when corporations pollute more than they should. I clean up hazardous waste, keep tabs on emissions, and help protect communities. I also team up with states and local governments to work toward a cleaner, healthier future. But lately, it’s been harder to do my job. Budget cuts, staff reductions, and legal challenges have limited what I can do. A recent Supreme Court decision even reduced my authority to regulate water pollution under the Clean Water Act.
People have started asking whether I’m still necessary. But the reality is that I’ve never been more needed. The world is heating up, the pollution threats are evolving, and I’m still expected to do it all on a tight budget. Without me, there’s no national safeguard protecting your health from environmental risks. States can’t always tackle large-scale problems alone, especially when air and water cross borders. I make sure we use science, not shortcuts, and that there are rules and accountability. Saving me isn’t about politics, it’s about clean air, safe water, and keeping our communities safe for generations to come.
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Hi! I’m NOAA (pronounced like Noah!) — that’s short for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. I was born in October 1970, and as a Libra, I care about balance, data, and helping people make informed decisions. You’ve probably seen my work. Every time you check the weather, that’s my data! I also run the National Weather Service and the National Hurricane Center. I manage hurricane-hunting planes, satellites, and ocean buoys. I monitor climate change, track rising sea levels, and even help manage fish populations. And yes, I do enjoy Groundhog Day. It’s flattering when people pretend Phil can predict the weather better than me.
While the EPA sets the rules, I collect the data. I help communities prepare for storms and wildfires, guide fishers to sustainable waters, and support scientists, first responders, and even the military. But like the EPA, I’ve been hit hard. A Supreme Court decision earlier this year triggered mass layoffs across science agencies. I lost hundreds of scientists and staff. The effects have been immediate and dangerous. Tsunami buoys are down, weather balloons aren’t being launched, and entire fisheries are going unmonitored. One fishery was overfished by 125% because there was no one left to shut it down. And now, there’s talk of privatizing my weather systems, meaning billionaires could control the data I’ve always made public.
I’m not just charts and storm trackers. I’m how we prepare for hurricanes, floods, wildfires, and heatwaves. Without me, disaster warnings would be slower and less accurate. Climate change would be harder to understand. And people and ecosystems would be more vulnerable. If I disappear, you’ll notice. Supporting me means protecting lives and keeping science in public hands.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you. You’re already helping just by learning. The EPA and I have been working for over 50 years to protect people and the planet, but we need your support. Even small actions make a difference. Reduce food waste in the dining hall by only taking what you plan to eat. Recycle using Stevens’ single-stream bins. Donate clothes and old dorm items to local thrift stores instead of throwing them out. Turn off your lights, unplug chargers, and use less water when you can. And remember, you live in Hoboken, one of the most transit-connected cities in the country. Walk, bike, take the train, use the Stevens shuttle, or hop on a bus. Every small choice adds up. Stay informed, speak up, and remind others that access to clean air, safe water, and reliable data should not be negotiable. We’ll be doing the same.