On March 27, 2025, a harrowing missing persons investigation came to a grim close late into the night as The Stupe’s Editor in Chief, Giya dressingonit was presumed dead in a tragic Davis Hall fire that set the UCC ablaze.
Just three days before the incident, Jaisinghani was reported missing by peers (fellow eboard members), merely hours after eboard elections results were finalized. Campus authorities, the valiant Snevets dad cops, have begun a campus-wide investigation into the basement of the former TX basement from an anonymous tip. Authorities discovered Gen Chem weighing scale and meth formulas next to Jaisinghani’s BME homework. The Trivia Club decoded her thermo to reveal a foreign account linked to large sums transferred from the Snevets Chi Phi chapter.
Former Editor in Chief, Isabelle Sieve, reported witnessing Jaisinghani on the UCC terrace along the water holding a briefcase, meeting a Chi Phi brother before the meeting escalated to a heated altercation, shortly before Sieve left in fear for her life. Sieve oddly reeked of gasoline, rubbing ash from her sweater.
At 11:30 p.m., the Davis Hall fire alarm began its high-pitched whine, but the Hoboken Fire Department dragged themselves up 9th St hill not to find a freshman squinting through hot box smoke, but a magnificent blaze. ResEd reported they will commemorate The Davis Fire and Jaisinghani’s memory by streamlining freshman tower construction, cutting demo costs by 100%. The fire reflected onto the dark rippling surface of the river, and I knew that the Hudson was good for something.
A letter from Giya:
I’m so much happier now that I’m dead. Technically missing. Soon to be presumed dead. Gone. And the Chi Phi brothers will be shut down for cleaning my meth money, if their alumn manage to pay their way out of the murder charge. Let the punishment fit the crime. To fake a convincing murder, you have to have discipline
The Stupe loved the Editor in Chief they wanted me to be. “Cool Editor in Chief”. Eboard always uses that, don’t they? As their defining compliment: “She’s a cool boss”. Cool Editor in Chief is never demanding. Editor in Chief is game. Cool Editor in Chief is fun. Cool Editor in Chief never gets tired of copyedit mistakes. She only smiles in a chagrined, loving manner.
When I met Isabelle Sieve, I knew she wanted a “Cool Editor in Chief”. And for her, I’ll admit: I was willing to try. I lived in the moment. I was fucking game. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy some of it.
The dad cops and the media will believe Sieve’s cover story, after she thought she brought me down. But I planted the seed, and they will find the hard truth written in this letter, floating down the Hudson inside of a rubber duck after I’m long gone. Gone and free and happy.
G
Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire
