Now that the semester is ending and I’m about to graduate, this is going to be my last Girl(ish) Talk column ever. I think I want to spend this last column talking about the joys of female friendships. Growing up I found myself in a lot of all-girl environments like the Girl Scouts, my high school, and the summer camp that I went to and worked at. Even in elementary and middle school, all of my closest friendships were with girls. It wasn’t until I came to Stevens that I really had any close male friends. It’s hard to describe the difference between being friends with a guy and a girl because, most of the time, there’s no difference at all. Each person is different, of course, but there are subtle things I’ve learned over the past four years about the beauty of female friendships.
Being a girl at a majority-male school, you have to learn new communication styles. It was uncomfortable at first, especially when I realized that I had more male friends than female friends, but I got used to it over time. Being around my female friends, though, I don’t have to change my communication styles as much. We were mostly raised with the same media, expectations, and shared experiences, so it’s just easier to relate and be understood. Problem-solving with other girls also makes more sense to me. Girls are more likely to provide sympathy rather than solutions when faced with others’ issues. I don’t always want someone to tell me how to fix my issues. I usually already know what to do, but I just need help convincing myself that it’s right. I’ve found it easier to talk through solutions with other girls without them trying to insert their own viewpoints as much.
It’s also nice to have people who can relate more to the uniquely “girl” experiences in my life. Outside of dating, my female friends understand things like how terrible birth control is and the weird shapes that spandex makes on your hips. It’s easier to cut right to the chase about the ugly parts of living with other girls, even if they haven’t experienced those things themselves. Some guys are outright grossed out by those topics, or if they are on board, you have to explain it enough for them to understand.
I appreciate all of my female friends and I’m grateful for all the amazing people I met at this school. No matter what kinds of friendships you prefer, it’s important to find the people that make you feel comfortable and valued. For me, it’s necessary to have some female friends and I know I’m always going to need those people in my life.
