In recent events, the Snevets SGA has fully embraced its recent increase in the SAF (Student Adultery Fee). Rather than the previously announced $95, the SGA will change the SAF to $10,000 per student per semester. With this additional funding, The Stupe spoke with the SGA’s money boy, Szteborgian Seboltberg, to find out where the money would go.
The first question Seboltberg answered was why the SAF saw such a jump from $95 to $10,000. The response was, “I dunno, I like swimming in swimming pools of cash.” With such an increase in funding, the question arises of where the money will go.
Following enormous spending on the “University Towers” and the future spending for a Dave’s Hall replacement tower, the SGA has decided to create its tower specifically for SGA senator bonding events. According to Seboltberg, the SGA will host daily dagers, and most will flow into the night. The views of the tower will be just in front of the How Center and the “University Towers,” blocking all current residents’ views. Additionally, the tower will be so tall that it will be outside federal law; therefore, the drinking age will be 18.
Snevets has concerns over the SGA’s proposal, but the biggest problem remains: will Gogo and Atilla have a new friend as this new tower’s mascot?
Disclaimer: This article is part of The Stupe and is satire.
