For context, this is about my best friend who’s attending another college right now. We met as kids on my first competitive swim team. When I moved to another team, she came with me. At that new swim team, the girls weren’t so kind to her. They would talk behind her back about her strange mannerisms and way of communicating. Maybe I was afraid of being ostracized too, or naïve as to who they were talking about, but the fact stands that I didn’t say a word. When I saw how my silence contributed to her sadness, I wondered, “How could I call myself a friend and not say anything?” I promised I would never let anyone talk about her like that again, and that I’d try to protect her in any way I could. We grew up; in separate towns, swim teams, and physically. She grew to be much taller than me and even though she could protect herself now, and was older than me, she would always be the little sister I never had. Since knowing her, she’s had many issues with social anxiety and communicating with people, far before my problems with the same things had manifested. We struggled through social anxiety and depression parallel to each other through middle and high school. And even though I could give her all the advice in the world, I couldn’t seem to help myself. But as I grew more confident and social, she struggled to do the same.
Now as both college freshmen, I am an extrovert and she is an introvert. We have very different lifestyles; I take things as they come to me and am disorganized to a fault, while she is scared to take risks for fear of failure and very schedule driven. Though we seem quite opposite upon first look, to our core we are the same. Everyone has a little bit of my best friend in them; the voice in themselves that tells them they need to hide themselves, or that no one will like them for who they are behind the facade. But for everyone like my best friend out in the world, there will be someone out there who will just get you, or an extrovert to “adopt” you. If we all tried to bring someone in our lives a little bit outside of their shell, we would get to see the true radiance of an introverted soul. Everyone wants to communicate, and express themselves. All it takes is for one person to meet them and make them feel seen and heard.
So, dear my best friend, you will never be alone again. We don’t see each other that much, but when I look at the city across the river, I think of you. When I see a musical I think of how many times you’ve watched it over and over again. When I see your school colors I’ll always snap a picture and send it to you. I have a great group of friends here at Stevens and yours will come to you if you could open up and let them in. People want to love you, and this will all come in time. Despite what you may think, you never are a burden to me. When I say I’m free to talk or hang out with you anytime, I mean I will make time for you. I am so incredibly proud of how far you’ve come in so many aspects of life, and I will always be here to catch you if you fall.
My message to anyone reading this is to seek to understand the misunderstood, and treat people with kindness because, aside from the wall people build around themselves, there’s a real person usually begging to emerge.
