I sometimes say I can smell the seasons coming. The smell of decaying leaves wafts through the streets, and the 65-degree air permeates my nostrils and the stitches in my $19.99 Marshalls sweater. Then it dawns on me — the time has finally descended. Spooky season is upon us.
In high school, we analyzed poetry with the fervor of English majors, and most of us have come to associate the seasons with seasons of life. We learned that spring would be birth, summer would be teenage youth, fall would represent the decline to middle age, and winter would be inevitable death. Even though we are in the summer of our lives and fall symbolizes getting older, the meaning of fall for me personally revolves around the change it brings.
I’ve seen many of my friends go through an enormous change within the first months. Despite the melancholic deterioration of our natural surroundings, I’ve witnessed peers blossom into better versions of themselves, or give into their worst vices. As we are growing into ourselves, we are finally becoming separate entities from the parents that have shaped our worldview. For some, this is what we’ve been always longing for, and for others this move to college might’ve been a dread. I find myself falling in the middle of these two.
In my first days of college I realized that I quite literally have free will, and I could truly do (mostly) anything. I now had to figure out how to spend my time, who to hang out with, and whether or not to just not go to the lecture I was already 30 minutes late for (I did because my parents don’t pay private school tuition for me to skip class). With freedom, came the crushing pressure of messing things up. Now, it really felt like my actions belonged solely to me.
Through this month, I find myself becoming a stronger person. Though it has taken a while, I have garnered the strength to stand up for myself more frequently. I’m more honest and true to myself here. When I feel a certain way about something, I just say it how it is. And for the first time, I’ve felt like I’ve had unrelenting support from my friends.
As I grow older, everything seems less magical. The wonder of holidays has become nostalgia, and as we settle into adulthood, society tells us we can’t look at things with the same splendor we once did. I’d like to retain my supposed “childishness” for as long as I can. While we are growing up, the balance between responsibility and child-like wonder can become difficult to navigate. During high school, everyone was so eager to grow up and go to parties, but the most fun moments I’ve had in college so far have been spent playing Mario Party with a few close friends, and painting rocks in my dorm room. Throughout your time here, I urge you to not try to go through the semesters so fast, and enjoy the time before getting that nine to five job.
Happy spooky season!
