You might have noticed that the title of this column has changed slightly this year from Girl Talk to Girl(ish) Talk. First, before I explain the change, let me introduce myself. My name is Claire,I’m a Civil Engineering major in my fourth and final year here at Stevens, and I used to think that I could never write this column because I don’t consider myself to be particularly girly. There’s nothing wrong of course with being girly, it just never fit me. But my relationship with what it means to be a girl has changed a lot throughout my life, especially recently, which is why I decided to take on the challenge of writing this column.
When we were young, being a girl was quite black and white. Girls wanted to kiss boys, they loved dolls and bows, they talked and acted like other girls. It didn’t feel right because I just wasn’t able to do “girl” correctly. I didn’t think about it too much, there were way more important things to worry about, but that slight discomfort and shame lingered for a while. As we got older, me and my peers matured out of needing to conform. The people around me started being comfortable with individuality. I watched as “girl” changed year to year. Pretty soon, “girl” didn’t mean pink anymore. It meant that weird electric blue color that we all wanted to paint our rooms, it meant cutting our old shirts into crop tops. By the end of high school, “girl” had gone crazy, it could mean kissing other girls, chopping our hair off, it meant whatever you wanted it to.
I had grown up resenting the restrictions of being a girl, thinking that I couldn’t be fully myself within it. Being into STEM added a whole other layer on top of everything. At my all-girl’s high school, I could count the number of kids into engineering on one hand. Screw all those ads about girls being astronauts and scientists, it’s hard to pursue your interests when your curriculum and teachers are actively discouraging you. With time and a little maturity though, I came to see how much freedom I really have under the umbrella of “girl.” I always had the freedom to be myself, I just needed the confidence.
So I’m girlish and this is Girl(ish) Talk because “girl” has become so expansive that I can’t say every girl and absolutely nobody else will relate to what I have to say about being female. All of this is just my own experience and observations but I hope someone finds it useful. Being anything resembling girlish in STEM can be tricky so it’s important to keep talking about it and have as many people in on the conversation as possible.
