Student Orgs, for the last two semesters, have been dealing with the small lockers in the UCC to keep items to run their club. A few lucky clubs have been able to procure closets over the years, but for many, the half-shelf space is all they have. This has led to a series of complaints, especially from clubs who need to keep lots of props and costumes for future shows. To remedy this, Student Life announced they would unveil “The Pit,” a giant hole in the ground where all orgs can throw everything they want to keep. It will then be buried to protect it from the rain, and orgs can go in with shovels to dig up whatever they need.
“This was the only way we could provide enough space for all the orgs. Volumetrically, it’s actually much more efficient,” said one representative who asked to remain anonymous as they were not authorized to speak on the matter until the next full moon. The full moon then rose over the horizon but we’re keeping their identity a secret anyway.
The Pit is located right in the intersection of 6th and River Street, leading some students to wonder if it will get in the way of people walking around to classes. “Of course not,” said our secret contact. “Everyone will walk around it.” When asked about the cars that appear to be trapped on River Street by the Terrace Suites, they said they shouldn’t be driving cars around Hoboken anyway.
Many student orgs were concerned about possible weather and dirt damage their items might incur while in the pit. “Yes, a lot of things will get messed up. But at least you won’t have to deal with the little locker keypad things anymore.” Our secret representative was always full of useful wisdom. We recommend bringing a large plastic tarp to cover everything you throw into the pit, and hope that no one throws a piano or anything on top of your very important and very delicate glass vase. If you have bubble wrap or foam, you could wrap things in that, but you would have to be conscious of local environmental ordinances regarding burying plastic underground.
One of the student orgs we spoke to was excited to be one of the first clubs into The Pit. “We’ll get all our decorations and tools in there first, and we’ll be a model organization for everyone,” said the defending three time champions of student org of the Year. Then we pointed out that if they throw everything in first, they would have to dig the deepest to get it out again.
This change is sure to bring some smiles, and some frowns to student org leaders who now need to carry everything down to the pit. But you can’t deny that they have definitely provided enough space, especially for the clubs who really need it. The space under that intersection was pretty underutilized, just some water pipes, electrical pipes, sewer pipes, a secret pirate treasure chest, and the immortal soul of William Henry Harrison. We think there’ll be plenty of room for everyone. And we have confirmed that jackhammers will be available to get through the pavement on top, so residents of River Terrace can look forward to that going on at all hours of the night now.
While you’re doing your digging, you might want some gum to distract yourself. If that’s the case, you should come to Off Center’s final improv show of the semester: How it Feels to Chew 5 Pieces of Gum Friday April 21 at 9 p.m. in Kiddie 228 and Saturday April 22 at 3 p.m in Burchard 122. Hope to see you there!
