So like, it’s me again, I don’t know if any of you remember me from last year, so I’ll give you a quick refresher. When The Stupe can’t find any girls to write their Girl Talk column, I step up to the plate. It’s a long story, but to keep it short, I was elected as the most effeminate man on all of campus. So I spent this last week asking the women of Snevets, the few and the proud, what they wanted to hear. I got a lot of recommendations, like “nothing,” “why are you writing girl talk,” and “tell us about your Co-star,” so I am going to take some of my space to do that. Today, March 27 when writing this, my Co-star is telling me to keep a few secrets because I’m scared of adaptability and I want things to feel simple and natural. My Do’s are shared playlists, matching socks, and promises and my Don’ts are hot heads, sidehugs and stage lights. So, it seems like I shouldn’t get in over my head today. I am told that Claire and I (she’s my opinion column counterpart) are an intellectual match. There wasn’t much else relevant information on my Co-star.
Since the few women on campus weren’t giving me a lot to work with, I was doing extensive research to find other things to talk about that they might appreciate. Marriage.com says that women want to be encouraged and appreciated, so I will say that I am rooting for you and hopefully one day there will be more women on campus to relate to. Also, there will hopefully one day be enough women on campus so that I am not called upon to write the Girl Talk.
Disclaimer: this article is a part of The Stupe and is satire
