Approaching the end

Time flies when you’re having fun, as the famous saying goes. As overused as that phrase is, it’s the aptest way to describe my Stute journey. It’s been a crazy ride, spanning four years and two unique columns (Girl Talk, which I created, and Senioritis).

But like all good things, this, too, has to come to an end. This will be my penultimate column before the graduation issue. For a while, I was stumped as to what topic I should tackle for this particular piece. Seeking inspiration, I turned to my old writing. And in doing so, I found myself taking a much-needed trip down memory lane.

Re-reading my own work made me realize — for all complaints of deadlines, late nights spent editing and revising, writing for The Stute has been a hidden blessing. Thanks to this paper, I have been given a rare gift: a chronicle of my own growth, not just as a writer or student, but as a young person trying to find their way in the world. So in honor of that journey, I want to take this final opportunity to pen some hard-earned parting advice to my readers that I’ve gleaned, both from my columns and my time here, in no particular order:

1. Treat your friends like lovers. In other words, treat them with the same respect and priority and joy as the special someone you’re seeing, because you never know how long they’ll be able to stick around, or how long your time is meant to last.
2. Don’t fall into the cult of busyness, and learn how to draw the line on the #hustle. There’s seemingly constant pressure to work harder, sleep less, grind more. To push ourselves further, and then some more, just because we can.  But I’m here to say: take time for yourself, too. Your likes and loves and wants and dreams are just as worthy of your time as your goals and ambitions. You can have both. And that can be enough.
3. It’s okay to not have it all figured out. Or to have it all figured out on paper, but still not feel great. We’re all allowed off days, allowed unreasonable anxieties, allowed to spend too much time inside our own heads. Which leads me to the next bit…
4. Embrace the inherent nonlinearity of life. As much as we’d like it to be, life is rarely a straight path from point A to point B. Yes, life will take you places you didn’t plan. But who knows? You might just end up somewhere you really want to go.
5. Take the time to dissect your feelings of both grief and gratitude. Take stock; reflect on where you’ve come, and where you have yet to go.
6. Learn how to do things alone. Your free time is a finite, precious resource. And life is too short to be attached at the hip with someone at all times. Spend time doing stuff solo and get to know yourself all the better for it.
7. When it comes to your career; aim high. It’s not audacious to want something amazing, to not want to settle. Truly, it isn’t. And if you’re stuck between two choices, just remember: you cannot make the “right” decision. You have to make the decision the right one for you.
8. When the going gets rough: it’s important not to become engulfed by one’s distress. What seemed like an ocean of misery one moment looked trivial and silly to me not long after. My peace of mind didn’t need to be the collateral damage. After all, as the saying goes: this too, shall pass.
9. Life is not about avoiding or running away from the pain. It’s about learning how to face it, head-on. How to deal with it. It requires accepting that pain is a temporary but necessary state of nature for growth. Nothing extraordinary comes out of staying firmly within one’s comfort zone, after all.
10. There’s room in the world for ugly art, awkward sentences, less-than-perfect work. The beauty of creation lies in the act and the way it makes you feel — not simply the outcome.
11. Don’t self-select out of success. Whether it’s taking on a new job or applying for a scholarship, just remember: you don’t have to be 100% qualified to take a leap of faith — you just need to be brave.
12. Your purpose in life is not to love yourself, but to love being yourself. Instead of engaging in internal self-criticism, direct your focus outward towards life, your life. On living it to the fullest, enjoying the present moment, and making decisions that bring you joy and fulfillment. That’s how you become indestructible.

And finally, a piece of advice from the first opinion column I ever wrote:

1. Don’t be afraid to be a ‘Bitch’. When I say to be a “bitch,” I don’t mean to suggest being rude, uncaring, or arrogant, as the original definition implies. But this word, over the years, has morphed into something else entirely. Derogatory terms like “bitch” are labels that are meant to hold you back, meant to subvert positive traits like confidence and decisiveness and make them something to apologize for, something to be ashamed of. I say — enough of that. We should all embrace our confidence, our intelligence, and our talents, and stop shying away from asserting them. Don’t let anyone else’s labels or perceptions of who you are hold you back from fulfilling what’s meant for you. Just do you. And then go kill it.

It’s been an honor to write for The Stute for four years. Now, there’s just one issue to go. Until then!