Everyone loves free food. This fact is undeniable. However, there is one individual on this campus who seems to love free food more than anyone. They’ve been seen at many events that promote free food. In fact, they’ve been seen so often that they’ve begun to make a name for themself on campus. However, it isn’t just the free food that they like; it’s actually far deeper than that. I sat down with this person recently for an interview (at least I think they were also sitting; this interview was conducted over the phone), and the rest of this article will cover the deep conversation that we had during that interview. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, The Freshman Food Fiend.
Off The Press: How did your food fiendishness start?
Freshman Food Fiend: Just about the first day of school was when I first started taking food. At Babbio, they were handing out free boxes full of snacks and sandwiches. I’ve always liked the idea of free and figured that I should bring back as many as possible to my dorm to share with my roommates. One time, a police officer saw me struggling to carry all the boxes and offered me a ride to my dorm. After the ride, I rewarded him with a box or two.
OTP: Do you remember what the event was or how you heard about it?
FFF: It was August 23rd. I was either going to class, or I had to go to a peer group meeting. Either way, it was just a coincidence, and I just stumbled upon it.
OTP: Did anyone there give you looks or say anything to you when they saw you taking the food?
FFF: Yes, smiles and “please take some food.” The people handing it out didn’t want the food to go to waste.
OTP: Have you done stuff like this in the past, like before you came to Stevens?
FFF: There weren’t many opportunities like this in the past. My friends would recognize in the past that I would hand out candy though. Also if a random person saw me with candy and asked for some I would give them candy. Oh, actually, after sporting events at the high school, they would stop selling stuff in the stands, so they gave the rest of the food out and I would take a lot of it when possible.
OTP: On average, how much food do you typically take and distribute in a week?
FFF: That would depend on the occasion and a few factors. Fridays tends to be a good day. Sometimes I may take three (3) pies of pizza and immediately hand them out, or another week I may hand out some bags of chips that I keep in my backpack in case I hear someone say that they’re hungry. One time, on a day that I did not gain any food, I gave a crate of chips and soda to a frat. It is pretty random.
OTP: Do you have a stockpile of food in your room, or do you disperse it pretty quickly?
FFF: Both; I have a stockpile for my roommates to take from. It’s mostly chips and soda, but they don’t tend to make a noticeable mark.
OTP: How much would you say you currently have stored up? How much do you typically have stored up?
FFF: I have an iced tea crate of which I have plastic forks stuck into the sides to add height. Normally that is filled to the top and sometimes overflowing. Also, I keep liters of soda in one of our mini fridges, but I don’t think my one roommate drinks soda that often. Neither of the mini fridges have been empty since moving in.
OTP: Do you get recognized at a lot of events? If so, is it typically in a good way or a bad way?
FFF: It depends on the event. Normally they act neutral and just say, “Hey, I know you are recognized for this,” as I walk away. There have been very few times where they scold me or get angry. People tend to be quite respectful.
OTP: Do you often stay for the event, or do you normally just grab the food and be on your way to give it out?
FFF: Sometimes I stay for a while to take the rest of the food, but there are also times when I am busy and try to act quickly so I can get to my school work. I also sometimes come back at the end for another round, after grabbing and handing out the food.
OTP: Does food fiending ever get tiring or in the way of things? Do you ever feel like it’s not worth it?
FFF: Heck no, I love doing this. I like making people happy and this is a good way of doing it. I may become occupied with school work, but I will continue to find sources of food which I will hand out. It’s also a great way of meeting people. I would give up my care packages before ceasing to hand out food, and I already do for most of what is in my care packages. That was actually my birthday gift. A care package so that I can share it with people.
Students, faculty, and all members of the Stevens community. I ask you — nay, plead you — to treat this magnificent specimen the way that they should be treated; as a hero. Never before have I seen such selfless acts of kindness done by one person, solely for the purpose of making others happy. If you encounter the Freshman Food Fiend at one of your events, I greatly encourage you to welcome them with open arms, and allow them to continue their good deeds for the rest of us civilians across campus. Thank you, Freshman Food Fiend. Never stop fiending.
The Freshman Food Fiend’s identity has been kept private. The interview has been lightly edited for clarity.
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