Destruction Plans Set In Motion For Gianforte Family Academic Complex

As pure, most definitely positive excitement begins to amass in anticipation for construction of the new Gianforte Family Academic Complex here at the ol’ duck pond, other announcements have recently been swept under the table.  While everyone in the Stevens community knows the Gianforte Family Academic Complex will open to students and faculty in 2020, few know that its demolition is scheduled to be completed in early 2021.  

The Gianforte Family Academic Complex is planned to replace the beloved, though decrepit, Lieb Building, as well as the Sixth Street parking lot.  In wake of such destruction of infrastructure, the Gianforte Family Academic Complex must be brought to ruin in order to restore balance to campus.  Yin and Yang. Equal and opposite reactions. Everybody Hates Chris and Loves Raymond.

As the building is erected, expect to see signs of wreckage at every turn.  The windows will be the first to go.  Every single pane of glass in GFAC must be shattered by 2019 for the project to stay on track.  Stevens plans to use the finest window smashing rocks whose migratory patterns bring them to the New York area once every three years.  I personally believe that our university should use rocks that can be caught locally here in Hoboken; if you agree, please reach out to me so you can sign my petition.

Wall removal is expected to start soon after the ribbon-cutting ceremony.  The walls will come down in the order decided by an online fantasy football draft picker.  After many heated discussions with Stevens administration and the building crew, the walls will not be torn down while classes are in session; club meetings, on the other hand, are free game.

I, for one, cannot wait to see the resultant pile of rubble when visiting campus as a Stevens alumnus.  Who knows?  Maybe they will have finished drafting blueprints for a new building to replace the entire MPK complex, which will fall apart all on its own as soon as it’s built.  As long as we keep seeing money being funneled into knockdownable buildings, I will be one happy duck.