Snevets, I still have some questions

I’m approaching the seventh monthiversary for my time at Snevets. Throughout my freshmen year so far, I like to think I have taken advantage of everything on campus… well, as much as I could. On my list of things I’ve taken advantage of, befriending Pearl and giving a high five to President Farvardin are probably my top accomplishments thus far. I would like to say I’m a pro at getting around this campus and exploring what it has to offer, but I still have a couple of questions.

First and foremost, why isn’t there a gym class training you to walk up the 8th Street hill? I’m not sure about you, but I get completely winded walking up from my Bagels on the Hudson run back to my dorm. I originally wondered why there aren’t moving walkways installed on the hill, but like the ice cream machine in Pierce Dining Hall, they would break just about every other day. In all seriousness, Snevets is not utilizing its most torturous resource as another option for a gym class when it definitely could be. As much as I love aligning my chakras in Yoga-lates, I think I can get more physical fitness learning how to not wheeze as soon as I reach the top in front of Palmer Hall.

Second, why are Hayden Hall students so darn close with each other? My scientific self likes to think it’s because of the Gates-of-Hell degree temperatures year round and no air conditioning, forcing every student to keep their door open in order to comfortably inhabit the space, but I guess the RAs have something to do with it too. Not that I’m jealous of those in Hayden, their living situation isn’t the most glamorous, but it resembles the most “college environment” that I wish I had. In my current dorm, I’m lucky if a single door is open if I walk down my hall to just pop in and say hi to someone. It would be nice to have another simple opportunity to meet new people, especially during my freshmen year.

Third, why do students flock to free food events like vultures feeding on their prey? I love free food like anyone else in this universe, but more people attend events to get the Insomnia Cookies than to actively participate in the event. Because of this, I feel like our student activity fee should be renamed “feeding broke college students” fee. It has a nice ring to it. The amount of times I eat free Gio’s pizza in a given week is definitely counter to my attempt of keeping off the freshmen fifteen and my trying to get involved on campus. Many other freshmen, like myself, should reconsider why we are going to meetings if we are simply going to avoid eating CJ’s for the billionth time.

Before high school graduation, one of my favorite teachers reminded me to always stay curious. Though I have quickly learned that building X stands for McLean, and that Pierce Dining Hall and Peirce 216 are NOT the same, I am still constantly seeking to learn the insides of Snevets Institute of Technology. Maybe in my four years’ time I will learn the answers to these questions and more. In the meantime, April Fool’s, fellow freshmen.